The American Spectator

Among the Intellectualoids

The image of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama was found mysteriously engraved upon the top of a pate de foie gras served at a dinner party at the home of Harvard University literature professor Nigel Thierry last night, guests and hired help say.

"When I put ze foie gras in ze oven, zere was no image of zis man on ze top, I swear to you," said chef Bob Jones. "It was as smooth as, what is ze saying, a lady's bottom, no? But when I took her out, zere it was! Zis, smudge, right zere on my pate! And now zey tell me it was a miracle, zat he is ze savior of America or somezing like that. I say, mon dieu! I should have charged more for ze pate!"

Jones said he served the dish as-is, hoping no one would notice the vague, squiggly lines on its surface. But guests, consisting mostly of Harvard University faculty members and left-wing activists, recognized Sen. Obama right away.

"Oh, my god! Not that I believe in god, but, I mean, look! It's Obama! On that pate!" said poetry professor Inga Lutevisk when the dish was brought out.

As the pate was passed around, one guest after another agreed that the impression in the pate's surface was the spitting image of Sen. Obama.

"Look, that line there is clearly his magnetic smile," said graduate student Lee Pocveck.

"And there, right there… I think I see an ear," said Students Against Right-Wing Nazi Hatred president Dre Trammel.

Guests report being divided over whether the image was divinely engraved.

"Clearly, God put that image there to signal to us all that She has big plans for Sen. Obama, and if we want to be in Her good graces we should help establish His Holiness's rule on Earth," said feminist studies professor Jessica Manfist.

But others had their doubts.

"Now if God did exist, it is obvious to anyone with a modicum of self-awareness that he or she would choose a Democrat were he or she to choose sides in this or any other U.S. election," said professor emeritus of philosophy Gregor Zindle. "That's a given, of course. But why Obama instead of the equally deserving Dennis Kucinich? And why tell us by impressing his image into a pate de foie gras at a dinner party of 17 people? If you're GOD, for crying out loud, why not just write his name in the sky or affix a halo to the empty air space six inches above his head? I mean, don't we make fun of people when they claim to see Jesus' or Mary's image in a pat of butter or a stain on the floor?"

For some, the image caused them to question their own lack of faith.

"I've been an atheist ever since my first semester at Yale, when the ritualistic Midwestern monotheism driven into me since the age of four by a culture terrified at the very idea that I might one day think for myself was educated out of me by the gorgeous Bjorn, my religious studies professor, and, later, lover," said associate history professor Nan Bexler.

"But after seeing this foie gras, I find myself doubting the doubts that have not sustained or comforted me, but only made me feel superior yet vaguely empty inside, all these years. Suddenly, I feel all warm inside thinking that God loves us all so much that he would send us Sen. Obama to earth to save us from the apocalypse that the Bush/Cheney war machine has nearly completed unleashing upon all humanity."

topics:
Barack Obama