WASHINGTON -- James Taranto, the Wall Street Journal's
resident anthropologist, put it perfectly when he described Senator
Jean-Francois Kerry as "a comic perpetual motion machine." And as
such the junior senator from Massachusetts provides an invaluable
service to us. He provokes us to laugh about wholesome excess --
not the ribald mishaps of a Senator Larry Craig or, if your memory
is well-tuned, of Representative Barney Frank. The Hon. Kerry with
his ponderous gravitas, his implausible presumptions to
achievements in the arts, in athletics, and, who knows, perhaps in
ballet, is the reductio ad absurdum of the modern American
politician's colossal claims to greatness in all the departments of
human endeavor.
Senator Kerry is a confirmed C student -- confirmed so by
inquiring journalists after he tried to present himself as
summa cum laude in comparison with his Republican opponent
in 2004, President George W. Bush. President Bush has never claimed
to be anything but a C student; though, as it turns out, his Yale
grade-point average was slightly better than that of his fellow
Yalie, Jean-Francois. We know this because the Boston
Globe eventually laid hands on Kerry's Yale transcript. Kerry
had refused to release the transcript for years. Nonetheless he
boasted of his intellect and complexity. Similarly, he boasted of
his war record after exaggerating it and claiming to have witnessed
American atrocities. It is this shamelessness combined with his
obvious mediocrity that gets him into the hilarious fixes that have
distinguished his career.
Just a few weeks ago Kerry blundered into buffoonery once again.
Impatient with unsubstantiated claims that the 2004 Swift Boat
advertisements lied about Kerry's hoked-up military record, Boone
Pickens, one of the funders of those ads, publicly challenged the
critics to demonstrate the ads' inaccuracies. He promised to
provide $1 million to anyone who succeeded. Astonishingly, Kerry
took the bait. With the consummate presumption that makes him the
"comic perpetual motion machine" that he is, Kerry wrote Pickens:
"While I am prepared to show they [the Swift Boat Veterans, often
his fellow officers] lied on allegation after allegation, you have
generously offered to pay one million dollars for just one thing
that can be proven false, I am prepared to prove the lie beyond any
reasonable doubt." That said -- and only that said -- Kerry asked
for his cool million.
Pickens's perfectly reasonable response was to ask for Kerry's
proof. As of today, no proof has been tendered by the Massachusetts
Braggart. Pickens also cleverly asked for the journal that Kerry
allegedly maintained in Vietnam and "Your military record,
specifically your service records for the years 1971-1978, and
copies of all movies and tapes made during your service."
Megalomaniac that he is, Kerry filmed himself in Vietnam. Some of
his fellow servicemen thought the films faked injuries and
actions.
It is reported that Kerry's fellow Democrats were embarrassed by
Kerry's unsubstantiated charges and empty whining. It brought to
the public eye all his self-absorbed melodrama from the
catastrophic 2004 race. Frankly, I sympathized with the Democratic
leaders, but Kerry's guff deserved to be put to the test. Thus on
November 21 I unveiled on The American Spectator's website
"The Crybaby Kerry Clock." I promised that it would silently tick
tock away beneath a smug depiction of Crybaby Kerry, counting the
hours until he came forward with his promised evidence of the Swift
Boat Veterans' false advertising, his Vietnam journal, and his
military record. No evidence has been forthcoming. We have all had
a good laugh. Yet it is time to move on, as the cliche traffickers
put it. On January 4 the historic clock will cease to exist, and we
shall all have to await Crybaby Kerry's next catastrophe of
self-promotion.
Yet as retired Marine Corps Major Michael E. McBride wrote in
Townhall.com, Kerry "has always had the power to clear up any of
the Swiftboater challenges; all he had to do is allow the Navy to
distribute unaltered copies of his service record, medical records,
and DD214. It is essential that these records come from DOD, so
that they cannot be tampered with by Kerry or his supporters. The
DOD copies are the true copies of record and the only viable
evidence for these maters." McBride, citing Kerry's long reluctance
to do, so goes on to write, "it is unlikely that any credible
evidence exists to refute the base charges of the Swiftboaters." He
concludes, "If any of my ex-squadron mates dumped on me like the
Swift boat vets are dumping on Kerry, my records would have been
available the next day...."
So I guess that means there would never be a Crybaby Clock for
Major McBride.
topics:
Movies, Military, NATO
