More than a week after the big U.N. Climate Change Conference
wrapped up in Bali last month, Ms. Henny-Penny, founder and now
Recording Secretary of The Holy Order of The Sky is Falling, is
finally back from that fabled isle herself. “I was so exhausted
from that wonderful conference, I just had to rest for several
days,” she told us when we caught up with her this morning.
For two weeks delegates from 180 countries talked endlessly,
congratulating one another on their perspicacity for discovering
that if they cranked down industrial society to a crawl they might
reduce carbon emissions enough for the sky to begin ascending
again.
“The speeches were thrilling,” said Ms. H-P. “Toward the end,
our Pontiff, Al Gore, brought the audience to a standing ovation
when he denounced the United States for dragging its feet on global
warming.”
What did the conference accomplish? we asked. She replied, “This
was the 13th conference of the countries that signed the U.N.
Convention on Climate Change. The conferees agreed on the Bali
Roadmap. The official report says this will ‘chart a course for a
new negotiation process to be concluded by 2009 that will
ultimately lead to a post-2012 international agreement on climate
change.’”
“You mean they have met 13 times and this time, after two weeks
of talk, their great accomplishment was to agree to talk for two
more years so that — perhaps — they can come up with something to
replace the flawed Kyoto Accord,” we replied. No wonder the U.S.
Senate opposed “Kyoto” by 95-0 when it was first brought up.
“Well,” she sniffed, “As the Pontiff says, the polar ice will
melt, coastal plains and cities will be flooded and the
temperatures will zoom if we don’t do something.” When we said the
Bali Roadmap sounded like a good excuse for more two-week paid
vacations in tropical resorts, she mumbled something about
“skeptics.”
We reminded Ms. H-P that during the conference 100 prominent
scientists released a letter they all had signed to UN Secretary
General Ban Ki-moon. It began, “It is not possible to stop climate
change, a natural phenomenon that has altered humanity through the
ages. Geological, archaeological, oral and written histories all
attest to the dramatic challenges posed to past societies from
unanticipated changes in temperature, precipitation, winds and
other climatic variables. We therefore need to equip nations to
become resilient to the full range of these natural phenomena by
promoting economic growth and wealth generation.”
About all the alarm over carbon emissions, the letter stated,
“While we understand the evidence that has led them [the UN
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change] to view CO2 emissions as
harmful, the IPCC’s conclusions are quite inadequate as
justification for implementing policies that will markedly diminish
future prosperity.”
“It’s all nonsense,” Ms. H-P said. “The Pontiff has pontificated
on this subject many times. He says that it is settled science that
we must reduce carbon emissions and he is, after all,
infallible.”
“So you dismiss these scientists?” we asked. “I certainly do,”
she said emphatically. “When I founded THOOTSIF in the barnyard
years ago, there were skeptics, especially Chicken Little, but we
refused to listen to them and here we are with the sky still
falling.”
We changed the subject. After the delegates had endured hardship
duty for two weeks and left Bali to her, how did she enjoy the
beaches, we asked. “They were lovely,” she said, “and one of the
delegates lent me his private jet to fly home.”
