By Andrew Cline on 10.29.07 @ 12:08AM
His political future hangs by a thread.
RALEIGH, N.C. -- Presidential candidate John Edwards announced
today that he would accept matching suits, shirts and neckties from
the federal government in exchange for limiting his campaign
expenditures on hair care and other grooming products.
"I believe that every candidate for the presidency of the United
States should have the same opportunity to look fetching in front
of the television cameras," Edwards said during a press conference
in his dressing room. "For that reason, today I accept a wardrobe
from the United States government and agree to make myself look
more like a seven, maybe even a six-and-a-half, instead of a solid
eight or nine. And I urge all other candidates to do the same."
Edwards turned his 40 x 25 closet full of $1,500 suits, $200
shirts and $600 shoes over to federal regulators this morning. In
return, he received seven $300 wool-blend suits that are sure to
shine after a few weeks' heavy wear on the campaign trail, seven
cotton-polyester blend dress shirts, two pair of $80 store-brand
wingtips, seven $25 silk neckties with geometric patterns on them,
and two $25 outlet-store leather belts.
Agents of the Federal Election Commission also confiscated all
of Edwards' hairspray, shampoo, conditioner, exfoliating shower
sponges, perfumes and personal tanning beds. They replaced his 16
bottles of imported shampoo and four bottles of conditioner with
two 99-cent bottles of Suave. Bush administration officials had
tried to get the Suave bottles replaced with bottles of Breck, but
the FEC refused to allow anyone but Edwards pick his beauty
products.
Edwards' challenge to other presidential candidates was answered
only by New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, who agreed to give up his
own personal grooming devices before realizing that he actually
possessed none.
After changing into an ill-fitting federally issued charcoal
gray suit, white shirt and blue tie, Edwards challenged Sen.
Hillary Clinton to give up her extensive array of grooming
products, expensive pant-suits and blonde hair dye.
"It is inherently unfair for one of the candidates to spend so
much more money on her appearance than the rest of us," Edwards
said. "If you ran the numbers, as I have, you'd see that Sen.
Clinton spends roughly 2,000 times more on personal grooming than
Dennis Kucinich does. And that's after he got married and started
wearing deodorant on a regular basis, though unfortunately still
not every day, as I discovered when I stood next to him in that one
debate."
Later in the day, Sen. Chris Dodd became the first candidate to
accept Edwards' challenge when he gave all of his suits to charity
and pledged to wear only Boston Red Sox licensed merchandise from
now until the day after the New Hampshire primary.
topics:
Hillary Clinton, Television
