By Lawrence Henry on 10.26.07 @ 12:07AM
A fire and the ouster of a preacher friend.
I found the message on our answering machine on a Thursday
afternoon: "This is so-and-so from the church. I presume you've
already heard about the fire. We're having a prayer meeting tonight
at seven."
No, I hadn't heard about the fire, and I didn't know the person
who had left the message -- it was a product of the church's very
efficient phone tree system for passing information rapidly to the
congregation. I sent an e-mail to Sally, who was away on business,
left a message on my older son's cell phone (he was away at a
school summer session), and arranged for our babysitter to stay
with our younger son. Shocked at the news, I did what I thought
would be expected: wrote a check to the church for $500.
When I arrived at church that evening, I expected to see a
smoking ruin. Instead, the building looked completely normal. Three
hazard cleanup vans rumbled away on-site, with big hoses snaking
into and through the building. The smell told the story: smoke,
water, soaked drywall and wood.
That afternoon, our youth minister had parked the church's van
at the far end of the classroom wing. There, unattended, the
vehicle had caught fire. Flames had been sucked into the classroom
wing, where the sprinkler system kicked in and knocked the flames
back to hot smoke. That smoke rolled along the ceilings, then got
pulled through the entire wing to the sanctuary, on the other side
of the ell, where open windows sucked it out and fed the heat. The
firemen told us if the sprinkler system hadn't been the absolute
best available, the smoke would have burst into full flame and
consumed the structure. As it was, water and smoke had damaged the
walls up to a height of about six feet, and all those walls would
have to be re-built.
We held hands in a big circle, sang hymns a capella, testified,
and prayed. I had to pull up a chair to ease my back, and when I
sat down, I found the seat of the chair soaked. Afterward, the
pastor, with whom I had become friends, spoke to me. I handed him
the check.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Money," I said. We had all found out by that time that the
church was thoroughly insured, and that fire investigators and
attorneys would be on-scene the next day. As far as I know, I was
the only one who had brought a donation.
Later, when I talked with Sally on the phone, I said, "Something
was not quite right. We were all so busy being stout testifying
Christians, we didn't mourn." And I quoted something that had been
liberally repeated at the prayer meeting, something one of our
associate pastors -- the son of our chief preacher -- had said:
"Satan has got something in store for us."
We thought this was it.
THE NEXT DAY, SALLY CAME HOME, and we got the letter. Signed by the
board of elders, the letter told us that our preacher had been
arrested for drunk driving the night before the fire. He had taken
a glass of wine in a toast at a wedding some months before, and
found that the alcohol eased an old pain -- of a marriage that had
slowly gone bad over decades. He drank steadily, he drank in his
car, he drank in secret, something he had never done before.
Inevitably, he got dinged.
Over the months since, the story has emerged in bits and pieces.
The church took the position that our pastor and his wife would
have to enter marriage counseling to save their marriage -- divorce
was wrong, and he could not have his job back until and unless he
repaired his marriage. He met every night with the board of elders
and told his story in excruciating detail. He confessed to the
congregation -- a sermon that I missed.
In my heart, the painful sympathy turned like a screw. This was
a man of whom I had said, "I think he's going to be one of the best
friends I ever had." This was a man who had been sitting at my
bedside with a big smile on his face when I came out of a coma in a
hospital, after I had had a gastrointestinal bleed. This man had
spent his life building a vital church, and he had done so not only
with charisma and eloquent preaching, but with managerial expertise
and attention. Testimony to that? That the church did not collapse
after the fire and our pastor's drunk driving bust, but pulled
itself together, re-devoted itself to its core mission, and
continued to thrive.
I would not want to have to undergo marriage counseling -- or
personal counseling, for that matter -- under the supervision of a
board of elders, and with only a single outcome allowed.
Yesterday, I drove my older son back to school, a drive of some
90 minutes or more, and we had one of the best and longest talks we
ever had. Among many other things, we talked about songwriting.
"Imagine a country song," I said to Bud, "that started with the
lines, 'The preacher took a glass of wine to toast the groom and
bride. He took a sip and then one more, it felt so good
inside.'"
"IF YOU WROTE THIS DOWN LIKE A STORY, no one would believe it," one
of our congregants said to Sally and me when she came to dinner
last week. Well, believe it. It does not appear that our preacher
will ever get his job back, because it appears that his wife does
not want to be married to a preacher anymore, and that she's done
with the whole long life journey they had undertaken together. To
be fair, our preacher may have to realize that he is not the same
man anymore, either.
People at church have reacted in different ways. For several
Sundays, attendance fell notably. Lately, people have started
coming back. At first, the elders took turns preaching, and, to put
it kindly, some of them are not really preachers, no matter how
great their faith or their sincerity. Lately, and ironically, the
preaching assignments have settled on our pastor's son, who is good
at the job, and who has explored the Christian and emotional issues
behind this tragic fall unstintingly and courageously.
Among the many things we have found out is that our preacher had
no real friends among the congregation. The elders had, in fact,
walled him off. It took me some real effort to get his phone
number. I may be the only member of the congregation who has
communicated with him, outside the channels of the deacons and
elders. And his wife has disappeared entirely, in terms of church
association.
For my part, I have stayed away from church since then. I'm sure
I will go back. All the people have been very good to me, and my
core faith remains undisturbed. But it was my friend who fell. It
was my friend who lost his life's work. It was my friend who got
hurt. And for now, I just want to be his friend.
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