The American Spectator

Reader Mail

p> MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS br> Re: James M. Thunder's Love and Marriage...Discrimination : /p>

I'm not sure why Mr. Thunder is trying to load up the debate on gay marriage with a claimed right of a child to know its parents, but...

There's no fundamental right for a child to know the identity of his or her biological parents. Historically, no such right has existed; only the science of DNA testing makes such a claim possible.

Withholding the identity of biological parents falls under the umbrella of parenting decisions. The law has neither the authority nor the ability to micromanage such decisions. For example, a mother may not tell her daughter that she has an aunt because the mother and her sister are estranged, even though the aunt's bout with early breast cancer might provide her daughter with valuable health information. The number of parenting decisions that can have a potential negative impact is limitless. Cheerleading? BB guns? Visits with grandma even though she smokes like a chimney? Unless they reach the level of abuse, which is the opposite of parenting, parenting decisions no matter how wrong or selfish are beyond the reach of the law.

There may be obvious good reasons to withhold the identity of biological parents, such as conception through rape, or the reason may simply be the desire of the biological parent(s). It is important to remember that in adoption, post-natal or pre-natal (which is what sperm and egg donor situations really are), even if the placing parents never see their child, their decisions about adoption are parenting decisions that must be respected. Outside adoption, one common reason for withholding biological parent information is that the biological father is the married mother's boyfriend. It is also sometimes possible to provide information about the medical history of the biological parent(s) without further identification.

Some adults may feel the loss of a biological history keenly, but others are not bothered by it. Because the degree of indifference or unhappiness is such an individual matter, the extreme unhappiness felt by some does not outweigh the right of parents to make parenting decisions.

p>And there is a tremendous freedom in not being shackled to a particular biological family history. You don't have to like to sing because Grandma Atonal did. You can be the first one in the family to love singing, all on your own. br> -- Mary Wardrip /p>

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