The American Spectator

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When he said without hesitation that he wanted to keep the baby, I was shocked. Having come from an abusive family, he had long claimed that he never wanted children, that he would never bring a child into this messed-up world. But when actually presented with the opportunity, he changed his mind.

“Maybe this is exactly what we need,” he said. “Exactly what we’ve been looking for. Maybe a child would give our lives meaning, a purpose. Maybe if we had a kid, we wouldn’t feel so lost anymore.”

br> The timing was off and she didn’t love him; so she decided to have an abortion. When she told him her decision over the phone, she writes he responded, “You’re dead to me.” And hung up.

Given the fact that he’s now mutilating himself by hanging from hooks and posting it on the Internet, some might say that she was lucky to get out of it. They would argue that a child can’t fix you — look at all the instances of bad parents. Having children didn’t improve them. Run, don’t walk, sister.

Others might suggest that he’s suffering from post-abortion syndrome, its affects on men less discussed but real nonetheless. They would argue perhaps that his life spiraled downward as a result of the abortion because he felt guilty for not being able to protect his own child, that he felt he repeated the cycle of abuse he experienced as a child with his child.

But, at the end of the day, he’s not writing the piece and she hasn’t spoken with him in seven years.

p>She describes herself as “devoid of regrets.” Thinking about the “decision” she writes: br> /p>

But every now and then I would be struck by the idea that I could have a 2-year-old child right now, a 4-year-old, and so on. I would be sitting in a restaurant, watching a server deliver a highchair or a pack of crayons to a thankful parent, and I would think, “Oh, yeah … weird.”

br> Apparently, the abortion was no big deal for her. Still, she sees it as the crux of his story.

We could discuss further the effects of TMI and some might say that the Times should not have published the piece given its graphic nature. However, the piece is published and to retract its effects would be like trying to trying to gather the feathers that have been cast to the wind from the proverbial pillow.

The piece tells a story. She wants to understand and explain why her ex is such a mess. And she sees her experience with him as part of that story.

People’s stories intertwine all the time. In telling his story, she tells us about herself. If she truly sees the abortion as the lynchpin of his decline, it seems the abortion should be something more than “weird.”

More could be said about the piece and about the author. But for our purposes here, it enough to note that she’s used the narrative of her boyfriend to almost confess to the world that she’s had an abortion. Almost.