The American Spectator

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Another Perspective

(Page 2 of 2)

Kazemi-Qomi: We shoot no one, they are merely props for the weekly "Death To The Great Satan Parade." All in good fun, of course. You know we would never condone any act that leads to the death of even a single American citizen. Except for dirty, lying CIA spies unconvincingly playing a journalist or academic.

Crocker: Look, either stop the traffic in weapons over the border...

Kazemi-Qomi: Or what, my friend? You'll call the E.U.? They LOVE us over there! And don't even think about calling the U.N. We're on the Human Rights Commission! They love us almost as much as they loved Saddam!

Crocker: Or we'll shave Mahmoud's beard, dye all of his clothes pink and replace every one of his CDs with the Spice Girls. And some other stuff I can't talk about. Did you know that Navy Seals can kill you about 1,000 different ways?

Kazemi-Qomi: We both know you wouldn't dare send the Seals across our border. The United Nations would not approve, and look what trouble your president got into the last time he did something without U.N. approval. Besides, we are not afraid of your Seals.

Crocker: Oh, yeah? See that curtain over there?

Kazemi-Qomi: Yes.

Crocker: It's not a curtain.

Kazemi-Qomi: Don't be absurd, Mr. Crocker.

Crocker: It's three Seals dressed in curtain fabric. See that lamp? It's a Seal, too. And that side table?

Kazemi-Qomi: It's the same with all of you Americans. You threaten more than you can deliver. And eventually, no one is afraid of you anymore.

Crocker: Show yourselves, boys!

Kazemi-Qomi: Holy...

Crocker: Now, about those four American hostages we know you have....

topics:
Iraq, Iran, United Nations