By Lawrence Henry on 7.20.07 @ 12:07AM
Have you had it up to here with extra-strength Tylenol bottles and other such packaging? Welcome to the club.
At a back yard barbecue last summer, I handed a bag of potato
chips to my friend Dan and asked him to open them. I have weakened
so badly with kidney failure that I often ask for help with such
things.
Dan is a big, strong guy. Has a farm, works outside, takes long
walks every day, was an aide to General MacArthur.
"Are you kidding?" Dan said. "They make helicopters out of this
stuff."
Meaning the material of the chip bag, not the chips themselves
-- though you never know nowadays.
Have you had that experience? All sorts of E-Z Open Zip Strip
Pull Here Open Tab Press to Remove Seal -- have become
impossible.
AND THEY DO MAKE HELICOPTERS out of that stuff. Maybe that's the
reason. I used to have a client that manufactured laminant material
for helicopter rotors. Laminates involve putting layers of
different kinds of materials together in sandwiches to create
greater strength, springiness, flexibility, lightness, and so
forth. See: skis, tennis racquets, golf clubs, and so forth.
My advertising client made plastic-like films in giant rolls,
brobdingnagian Saran Wrap, but even harder to handle. It got moved
around factories in dust-proof chambers by people wrapped up in
white from glove to slipper. These varying materials, when laid
down over molds in just the right sequence, could be baked to
incredible hardness with almost no weight.
It was a miracle of modern manufacture, incredibly strong.
UNFORTUNATELY, THIS MIRACLE SEEMS to have been applied to modern
packaging. Probably it all started with the Tylenol scare of 1982.
Remember? Seven people in Chicago died after taking Tylenol
capsules that had been deliberately contaminated with cyanide. A
Mexican comedian joked, "You can drink the water in America. But
don't take the Tylenol."
Johnson & Johnson, manufacturers of Tylenol, responded with
a crisis management effort that is still studied in business
schools. Obviously, it included "tamper-proof" packaging.
The end result of which is that I actually have to file an
agreement with my pharmacy to get my medicines in bottles without
child-proof tops, because otherwise I can't open them.
Commercial products, that's another matter. "Pull easy-open
strip." Tell me another one. "Easy reseal tab." Right. "Open other
side." Ha! You lie, charcoal breath.
I warn you. I carry a knife.
topics:
Business
