By Andrew Cline on 7.16.07 @ 12:07AM
Cindy Sheehan withdraws from anti-war movement to create anti-sanity movement.
Former anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, who formally quit the
anti-war movement in May, today announced that she is putting all
of her energy into a new campaign "to combat sanity, reason and
common sense in all of their virulent and oppressive forms."
"I will not sit by and watch as this country is governed by a
spirit of reasoned compromise reached through rational and calm
debate," Sheehan announced through a cardboard paper towel tube
while spraying reporters with a garden hose in a gas station
parking lot outside Crawford, Texas.
"The Bush administration and its friends in corporate America
have brainwashed this country into believing that behaving in a
sane and rational manner somehow makes sense. Well it doesn't make
sense to me!
"Today I demand the immediate withdrawal of this country from
all sane policies, treaties, laws, court rulings, legal agreements
and color schemes. And if Nancy Pelosi doesn't meet my demands by
12:07 p.m. last Thursday, I will set free all the frogs in
Watersmeet, Wisconsin!"
Contacted for comment, Watersmeet, Mich., mayor Elbert Juneberry
said, "First off, we're in Michigan! Second, she can have our
Northern Spring Peeper, but I'll be damned if I'll let that woman
take a single one of our Western Chorus Frogs! We've only just
trained three of them to sing 'She'll Be Comin' 'Round the
Mountain!' Let's see those bastards in Wisconsin do that!"
Pelosi spokesman Todd Hinkelginny would say only, "Thank you,
God! Or, um, Tony Randall, or whoever you are! We're going to look
moderate next year for sure, now!"
Back in Crawford, Sheehan began quilting a giant "Anti-Sanity
Rug" made "to cover up the lies and deceit coming from The White
Hou.... oh, look, fairies! Come, little ones, spirit me away to
your glorious world of truth and beauty and peace! All hail King
Kucinich, lord of the fairies!"
topics:
Nancy Pelosi, Law, Energy
