The following letter (acquired through a reliable but
anonymous transtemporal source) will be written by the Rev. Dr.
Judith Hardanger-Hansen, archbishop of the American Archdiocese of
the Lutheran Companionship of the Benevolent Deity Spiritual
Movement (BDSM) sometime around the second decade of the 21st
century.
Beloved in the Offspring:
First of all, I would like to thank the Synod of Bishops for the
confidence they have shown in electing me to the archbishopric. I
pray that our Mother will give me strength and wisdom to carry the
burden of office.
It goes without saying that this burden is heavier for the
recent political changes that have taken place in our country.
Although these changes will have immediate consequences for all of
us, I cannot believe that they will be either as catastrophic or as
profound as alarmists predict.
First of all, I must denounce, in the strongest possible terms,
the anti-Islamic bigotry that animates much of the resistance to
the establishment of nationwide Sharia Law in the United
States.
It is my position (and the Synod of Bishops supports me entirely
here) that such resistance is both sinful and counterproductive.
Sinful, first of all, because it is symptomatic of two of the
greatest of all transgressions — racism and religious bigotry.
Counterproductive because it is rooted in a basic misconception
concerning the very nature of our faith. Christianity has always
been a religion of the oppressed and the weak. (Not that I expect
us to be oppressed under the enlightened rule of our good Muslim
neighbors. Far be it from me to suggest such a thing.) Centuries of
Christian domination in the world have left behind an unbroken
record of tyranny and exploitation for which we can only ask
forgiveness. (As a matter of fact, I intend to ask forgiveness when
I am granted my first audience with the Grand Mufti of Detroit next
month.)
I am particularly offended by the self-righteousness of those
who call themselves the New Abolitionists, who protest the
revocation of the Thirteenth Amendment. I grant that there was a
time when I myself thought slavery a moral evil. But I have
recently attended a number of enlightening seminars, at the
invitation of the Revolutionary Government, and have come to
understand that the old Abolitionist movement was a historical
aberration — an attempt by white Europeans to seize pretended
moral high ground and shame their betters in the East. I see now
that slavery is in fact the Creator’s will (as evidenced both by
our traditional scriptures and the historical ubiquity of the
practice), and that our rejection of it was a sin. It is the
Creator’s will that some people be slaves, and it is no kindness to
deny them the only kind of life in which they can truly fulfill
their spiritual potential.
I have more sympathy for those alarmed by the revocation of
Women’s Suffrage. As one of my old friends put it, “If I have to
give up on the Trinity, I can get used to that. But ask me to throw
out Susan B. Anthony — them’s fightin’ words.”
She spoke in jest, of course, as I explained to the authorities
when I denounced her for hate speech. (I understand that she is
making good progress in reeducation, and am confident that she
bears no grudge.)
Nevertheless, it matters to be clear on what is, and is not,
empowering to women. How long have we as feminists complained about
the objectification of our bodies? What could be more liberating in
that regard than the wearing of the burqa? I know I found my own
burqa a little strange when I first put it on, but now I rejoice in
my liberation from the lustful eyes of men. For this I have our new
lawmakers to thank.
The statute that bars women from participation in various
professions presents more difficulty. But I see no ultimate
problem. Some complain that these prohibitions force women into the
indignity of marriage, merely for the sake of economic survival. I
understand this argument, but let us bear in mind that we are
talking about marriage under enlightened Islamic law, not
oppressive western law.
From the beginnings of Feminist theology, our struggle has
always been against the evils of western sexism, founded as it was
on a culture of rape, exploitation, and servitude.
Islamic culture, as our best contemporary scholars testify, is a
very different thing. To the unsophisticated mind, the condition of
the housebound wife of the traditional European male, “barefoot,
pregnant and chained to the stove,” may appear no worse than the
condition of the Islamic wife. But the enlightened perceive
fundamental differences. Western marriage was based on primitive
biblical teachings which we have, by the mercy of the Creator, cast
off at last.
Muslim marriage is based on the Koran. There can be no
comparison between the essential sexism of Christian tradition and
the enlightened teachings of Muhammed, blessed be he. During my own
recent residence at an Islamic educational center, I began to study
the Koran, and my appreciation for it grows daily.
Whether we can in honesty maintain a separate, “Christian”
religious organization under present circumstances remains a
question for debate. Mainline Protestants have long held to the
principle that there is no such thing as a bad merger. The union of
our Companionship with one of the branches of Islam remains a
matter for the serious prayer of all spiritual people. We will not
permit any narrow-minded devotion to arbitrary concepts like
“lordship” or “doctrine” to prevent the wind of the Spirit from
blowing where it will. We have always sought to be weathervanes,
and the wind seems to be blowing from the east just now.
(signed)
Rev. Dr. Judith Hardanger-Hansen
Archbishop
