The American Spectator

Political Hay

(Page 2 of 5)

Kylio,

The president wants to fire all U.S. attorneys. Frankly, I have NO IDEA how to do this. But if the president wants it done, I'm going to find a way. A couple of questions. Do executive orders cover law firms? Please find the caselaw on this. I think most of the president's major corporate donors will resist having their staff attorneys forcibly removed. We have to come up with something of value to offer them as compensation. Maybe Karl doing a motivational speech for their employees? Think on that one. And what about attorneys in private practice? I mean, how do you fire someone who's self-employed? Maybe the Small Business Administration would know. Please advise when you're done with that brief on how to legally send Patrick Leahy to Guantanamo.

Alberrrrrrto

p> To: Attorney General Gonzales br> From: Kyle /p>

Attorney General,

I could be wrong here, and I certainly don't want to overstep my authority. But, my guess is that when the president informed you that he wanted all U.S. attorneys fired, he probably meant all federal prosecutors, not all attorneys in the United States, though that certainly was a reasonable assumption on your part.

Kyle

P.S. We can't legally get Leahy into Guantanamo Bay unless we catch him engaged in an act of war against the United States. Thwarting the agenda of the president of the United States is not currently classified as an act of war. I already looked.

p> To: Kyle br> From: Alberto /p>

Kyle,

Of course the president meant all federal prosecutors. I totally knew that. I was just testing you.(You passed.) Now, on the firing of all U.S. attorneys, what would be the downside to that? I mean, other than really depleting our side for the annual Justice vs. Defense softball game. Hey, remember that time I got a single off Secretary Rumsfeld to drive in the winning run?!

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Nancy Pelosi, Business, Satire, Law, Supreme Court, NATO