The American Spectator

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The Nation's Pulse

(Page 2 of 2)

Well, now. How old were you when your Dad had a little birds and bees talk? Honest, now?

"Fifteen. I was fifteen. Dad kinda looked away but handed me a condom and said, 'Here, Son, but it's best you keep it in your pants 'til marriage.' I kept that condom in my pants for five more years."

I think you misunderstood.

"A little joke, my boy. But look, in those days nobody was talking about no HPV vaccine. For a young feller there were two dangers in promiscuity -- clap and pregnancy. And there were two antidotes-- penicillin and marriage."

Before Roe v. Wade.

"Long before. And before the death of shame. People moved out of town, for gosh sakes."

Since we can't turn time backward, what is your solution?

"Go all the way."

Yeah, but...

"All the way. Reversible vasectomies for the boys, starting at 11, mandatory. And diaphragms for the girls, mandatory. In addition, of course, to the HPV vaccine and any others that may yet come along."

A terrible infringement on freedom, Uncle.

"On the contrary, son. It is the expeditor of a freedom no one is intended to have."

topics:
Television, Hollywood