I just had a birthday that brings me another year closer to retirement and gives me a little clearer idea of what ails the GrabbyBaby Generation. Everyone seems to think they've all got some Syndrome that makes them incapable of functioning above the level of robot toddlers. I am convinced that, rather than the rate of Aspberger Syndrome/ADD/Autism rising, what's really rising is the World Of One. That is, a person with an iPod jammed in each ear, fingers busy text messaging during High Mass or behind the wheel of the car Daddy bought her as a guilt gift after he ran off with her Nanny, and shouting to her friends in the movie theatre simply has no idea that anyone exists save Her. Because of all the gadgets that make it unnecessary for Her to face actual human beings or accede to their wishes vis-a-vis which television or radio channel to listen to, and because she has never in her life been told to Shut Up (and in fact does not know there is such a control as "OFF"), for all intents and purposes the world has disappeared.
The Kids aren't Autistic. They're mere robotic extensions of their Gadgets.
For a clear picture of where this is all leading, I advise anyone who still reads books to check out a little spine-chiller by Ray Bradbury, "The Veldt."
p>Meanwhile, don't hire anybody under 50. And if you hear any bawling about how when we who do the work retire, we're going to take the candy and leave them an empty candy store, just turn up your Personal Noise Generating Device to 11.
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