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IT'S TIME TO ASK AMERICANS to be "patriotic about something other than war," Edwards said. Predictably, this entails adopting a statist, government-without-borders program.

The New Patriotism means submitting to universal health care, even though when pressed for details on his plan, Edwards demurs, "It's not finished with it yet, so I can't tell you exactly what it is." It's adopting the Al Gore National Panic Program approach to global warming. It's eliminating global poverty. It's accepting McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform was "a half measure" that showed there was "only one solution" to this crisis of Americans being able to voice opinions that hurt politicians feelings: "If you really believe in the grassroots," Edwards said. "If you believe in real democracy, it's time we publicly finance our campaigns." Who knew the First Amendment was what was standing in the way of "real democracy" all along?

Speaking of half measures, Edwards got himself booed after a bit of cowardly waffling on the "single hardest social issue" that has caused "a lot of personal struggle" and made it difficult for him to "cross that bridge" to gay marriage.

Still, Edwards insists, "There is a role for government, but my view is there is a bigger role for local institutions and local community action groups, because that's where the real work is being done."

So the government is going to end global poverty, provide health care to every American, extensively regulate political campaigns, trade in Iraq for big "D" Democratic entangling conflicts elsewhere and yet still play a smaller role than local community action groups? Are we counting California as a local community action group now or will we under the reign of Edwards the Benevolent subsidize such groups to the point where they can hire staffs the size of that state's population?

Banish such cynicism, friends.

"It was wonderful, better than I expected," Elyse Barry told the Portsmouth Herald. "I love his values. I'm not sure our whole country is ready for his very humanistic values, but it really resonates with me."

Ah, the bane of John Edwards supporters' lives: Existing as such highly evolved humanitarian buck-passers in a country full of retrograde disagreeables.

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Foreign Policy, Trade, Health Care, Global Warming, Law, Military, Iraq, Iran, NATO, North Korea, Unions