The American Spectator

First, expel any player who deliberately kicks the ball out bounds. Chasing down errant kicks only to have to throw them back in two-handed with both feet on the ground wastes a lot of time and LOOKS awkward and sissified.

Second, get rid of these infernal goalies with their garish individualized uniforms. Playing the game without goalies would lead to some REAL scoring. All goalies do is frustrate everybody and any game that can end in a 0-0 tie is not going to sit well with Americans, although the French do love that kind if thing.

p>Third, if it comes down to a shoot-out to decide games tied after regulation time, let’s use paintball guns and have a real shoot-out instead of kicking a ball pointblank at a defenseless goalie. As a matter of fact, equip the spectators too and let’s have some real fun. br> — Deane Fish br> Altamont, New York /p>

There seems to be a causal link between the utter dullness of soccer and endemic fan violence afterward. These unfortunate people are looking for an outlet for pent-up emotional energy that had no opportunity for release during the game. That applies to the players as well. Note that in the middle of playing in the World Cup, this head-butting Frenchman wasn’t doing anything but standing around. Bored out of his skull, he decided to do something with that skull.

There are also hints that soccer has an underlying political philosophy that’s more “blue” European than “red” American. Europeans put up with bureaucratic impositions that no sensible American would tolerate. I once met a German who passively noted that the ease with which an American could buy a sailboat and begin enjoying it didn’t exist in Germany. There, for each class of boat and each body of water you had to get the proper permit. That’s soccer too, a game where experts make the rules and assume, quite rightly it turns out, that the fans are too stupid to figure out that the result is a bore. Note too that in their frustration the fans turn to the sporting equivalent of the nasty nationalism that’s long been a trademark of European politics.

p>In contrast, American games respond to the people and few fans are left bored, frustrated or nasty. If some aspect of a game is dull, the rules change. The results are games that more closely reflect the talents of the teams. In soccer, defense is so outlandishly strong, br> even the most clueless team can hold the final score down to 2-0. That reflects the leveling of European socialism, where incompetents can’t be fired and unprofitable businesses get government subsidies. In America, the difference between talent and incompetence is made all too obvious and in the end everyone benefits from a healthy br> economy and interesting games. br> — Mike Perry br> Seattle, Washington