The United States has a population of around 300 million people.
For political candidates, their pollsters and the media, this huge
collection of citizens must be categorically jammed into
demographic cages for careful observation. It’s always happened, to
some degree, but in recent years it’s gotten out of hand, and is
bound to get worse.
The demographics used to be easy to follow, because most
elections saw only two distinct groups separated by the biggest
issue of the day. In the mid 1800s, you were either “for” or
“against” slavery. In the 1920s, when prohibition was the issue
du jour you were either a “dry” or a “wet.”
Progressively, throughout the mid-20th century, voting blocs
were increasingly fragmented and dissected — most likely because
it became possible to make a lot of money fragmenting and
dissecting voting blocs.
More recent history saw the birth of the “Reagan Democrat” in
1980. This group can best be described as blue-collar folks who
traditionally voted for Democrats, but who had their wallets
emptied and their eyes opened during the Carter administration.
Reagan Democrats heard confusing and unfamiliar terms, such as
“stagflation.” They lost their jobs in droves, had to spend their
free time enduring disco, “general malaise” and wives who spent a
good deal of the unemployment check to make their hair look like
Dorothy Hamill’s. They, understandably, lost their will to support
Carter any further and voted for Ronald Reagan — twice.
Some Reagan Democrats may have even turned into “Yuppies” in the
mid-'80s, but that voting demographic was short-lived. Junk bonds,
“black Monday” and the cancellation of Miami Vice would
soon turn many Yuppies into “angry white males.”
In 1994, “angry white male” was an accusatory finger that was
wagged at nearly every suburban white man in America except the
suburban white men who coined the phrase.
As 1996 approached, it was decided that the angry white men were
too dangerous to be courted anymore, so the politicians moved on to
their wives — the “soccer moms.” Bill Clinton winked, nodded, blew
in a few ears and won this group of female, suburban minivan
drivers, with 2.7 kids and 1.4 dogs, hands down, not to mention
on.
In the succeeding four years, “waitress moms,” “technician dads”
and “minivan moms” filled the gap. During this period, pollsters
discouraged waitresses from driving minivans, especially if it
carried a technician dad, since it threw the data all off.
When we reached 2000, the “soccer moms” were still there, but
thanks to some Florida voters, were being overshadowed by a group
that will continue to be a problem — the “stylus challenged.”
Then we got into “NASCAR dads.” Many in this group once fell
into the “angry white male” category. For some unexplained reason,
they apparently refocused their rage toward auto racing.
Big city politicos, pollsters and the media looked at “NASCAR
dads” and saw guys who will wait in line seven hours to meet
Sterling Marlin’s brother’s best friend, dream of having their kids
baptized in Bobby Labonte’s transmission fluid at Talladega, and
will smoke and drink anything advertised on the hood of Rusty
Wallace’s Dodge. With the exception of my father-in-law, this
assumption is far from the truth.
The supposed opposite of the blue-collar “NASCAR dads” were
called “office park dads.” Forget the fact that many of us know
office workers who are rabid NASCAR fans. You don’t get to be the
most attended sport in the United States on just welders, truck
drivers, and line workers alone.
Two thousand four brought us many different demographic
segments, perhaps led by the “Hip-hop” bloc, with movements such
the one headed by Puffy Combs, called “Vote or Die” (unfortunately
for Kerry, most left-of-center young people at whom this was
targeted chose the latter).
The fragmenting continues to the point of absurdity. Every whim,
hobby, career choice and religious belief is being targeted as a
demographic group. What will 2006 and 2008 hold?
It won’t be long before politicians are crowing for the approval
of the “uncircumcised uncles,” “equestrian dads” and “husbands
beaten by Liza.”
Then the “Zagnut lovers,” “Yahtzee moms,” “irritable bowel
dads,” “bowling aunts” and the oft-embarrassed “American Idol
siblings” will be courted along with “Michael Moore Republicans” —
GOPers who hate the war and love Krispy Kreme.
The only Americans, it seems, who are not stereotyped into some
superficial “group” by pollsters, politicians and the media, are
pollsters, politicians and the media — which is amazing, since
they now seem to outnumber the rest of us.
