THERE IS ALREADY no shortage of reasons to join the tens of
millions of Americans taking Paxil or its generic counterpart,
paroxetine. As we shall see, side effects range from the hapless
hiccups to grand mal seizure. But we’re now told that the
hit anti-uncomfortableness drug raises the risk of harm to others
beside ourselves, in the form of birth defects: “Pregnant Women Warned By FDA to Avoid Paxil.”
Specifically, your Paxilated baby is overly likely to develop like
a diseased clump of swiss cheese, with “holes and malformations in
the chambers of the heart.”
Of course, as the Washington Post takes pains to point
out, “the defects often heal on their own, and more severe cases
can be surgically repaired.” Well. Goodness knows we wouldn’t want
the fetal needs of our children to get in the way of — what? What
does Paxil treat? Oh, a whole host of things: really, everything —
Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety
Disorder (they won’t allow the acronym SAD), Panic Disorder,
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Posttraumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD). GlaxoSmithKline, well aware that what they’re
selling is simply a serotonin bomb, suggests that the hydra of
neurosis Paxil treats exceeds“everyday shyness” or “the normal worry and
anxiety we all face.”
But then GSK reveals the full scale of our national spaz-out
pandemic — Depression: 16 million sufferers yearly; GAD, 5 million
a year; SAD, 12 million; Panic, 3 million annual victims; OCD, up
to 5 million over their lifetimes, and PTSD, up to 16 million at
some point before they die. Fortunately for our mental census, GSK
assures us that “many people have an overlap of these conditions.”
But even subtracting out a million sufferers from each disease to
ensure nobody’s counted twice, the figure reaches over 50 million.
That’s one of four Americans between the ages of 15 and 64,
and the reader knows as well as this writer does that the kids and
the elderly are often not exempt from pharmacotropic
manipulation. Indeed, rarely have they the freedom to opt
themselves out.
LET’S CIRCLE BACK to the side effects — on what exactly 1 of 4
Americans (a conservative estimate) ought to roll the dice in
exchange for the benefits of Paxil (yet to be described). The list,
for those courageous enough to slog through it, is massive, appearing to embrace the known universe of
ailments. But let’s enjoy a few representative highlights:
Asthma
Pneumonia
Acne
Urinary urgency
Abnormal gait
Lack of emotion
Ear pain
Eye pain
Breast pain
Deafness
There is no predicting, and no shortage of guesses. The libido
could increase. The libido could decrease. The vagina could
hemorrhage (basic vaginitis is more common). Beware skin
discoloration, stupor, alcohol abuse; but also more horrible things
you might not have heard of but understand (generalized spasm,
weight gain) as well as things “only your doctor” can understand:
arthralgia, choreoathetosis, fasciculations and nystagmus.
THIS WOULD BE FUN if it weren’t so blanket and Boschean a throwing
of caution to the wind. One of the “infrequent” side effects of
Paxil, though it could be fairly applied to its use and creation,
is listed as “abnormal thinking.”
From kidney calculus to taste loss, visual field defect to
maculopapular rash, Paxil provides a worrying palette of collateral
damages. Yet this is understood not to trouble the patient — so
long as the pill can be safely delivered into the stomach before,
worse than secondary effects, second thoughts begin to set in. And
what does our patient receive in exchange? The relief of
biochemical calm, in brief, but rather than offering a laundry list
of supposed cures it services our inquiry to concentrate on the
pains meant to be eased for the SAD — sufferers of Social Anxiety
Disorder.
As “diagnosed” by GSK, the afflicted “often” gets “physical
symptoms such as blushing, sweating, shaking, trembling, tense
muscles, shaky voice, dry mouth or a pounding heart. When you have
social anxiety disorder you can feel very anxious in the presence
of others. You might think other people are very confident in
public and you are not. Just blushing can feel horribly
embarrassing to you, and you might feel like everyone’s eyes are
always on you. You might feel anxious about giving a speech,
talking to a boss, or dating. Some people with social anxiety
disorder are afraid of public speaking or parties.”
In translation, someone with SAD is (at least sometimes) (a)
intimidated around strangers, (b) embarrassed to be caught being
embarrassed, (c) self-conscious at parties, (d) uncomfortable
delivering a speech, (e) nervous on a date, and (f) a human being,
just like everyone else.
Res ipsa loquitur. Now the coup de grace (as I steer around
risks of gingivitis, bloody diarrhea, malaise, and pallor): the
side effects of Paxil also include dehydration, hostility,
hysteria, and paranoid reaction: extreme versions of the very
symptoms the drug is meant to prevent. (Strangely, decreased
sweating — something any habitue of nervousness would
appreciate — is listed as a side effect, along with the
other undesirables.)
THE PERSON AT THE PARTY staggering around hiccuping — the one with
the discolored skin, enlarged breasts, and the demented gait —
isn’t likely to attract the kind of public attention we all enjoy.
The great unanswered question of Paxil — though I have my
suspicions — is whether our poor distorted victim will be too high
on seratonin to realize that the smiles on the faces of his fellow
partygoers are actually grimaces of queasy horror.
Would that they, too, had a Paxil each — and all chilled out
together, a roomful — a planetful — of jabbering, malfunctioning
zombies.
James G. Poulos is a writer and attorney living in
Washington, D.C. His commentaries are found at Postmodern
Conservative.
