By K.E. Grubbs Jr. on 9.21.05 @ 12:05AM
On behalf of the fraternal New Journalistic Order.
Your comments this week at Fordham University Law School sure
stirred them up. The image of fear stalking America's newsrooms was
the best hoot we the network suits have had in years.
The right half of the blogosphere -- hey, wait, except for Kos
and one or two others, the whole damn lot of the bloggers are
rightwing nutcakes, aren't they? -- went euphoric with the chance
to remind themselves you still exist.
We really appreciate your willingness to take all that heat.
Being demonized throughout your career -- before, during, and after
your stint at the anchor desk -- has got to be tough. You're a real
piece of work (do we have to say yet again that Murrow would be
soooo proud of you?), a work of incredibly complex psychology.
(Say, was counseling part of your severance package? We hope we
didn't forget that.)
Speaking of Murrow, did you see that George Clooney's got a
movie coming out about how Ed slew McCarthy? It was perfect timing
for you to go out, not only to remind the world of our past
greatness, but to define competition -- our real fear -- as some
sort of vast, nefarious rightwing conspiracy.
And, man, that quivering lip was something! Just perfect! Almost
as good as Shep or Brit. The best since you started signing off
your newscasts with "Courage." Next time, maybe you could pull out
of your vest a little list and threaten to name names. Wait, was
that McCarthy or Ed who did that?
Anyway, those bloggers -- you know, those pajama-clad nitwits
who ruined your effort to swing the election to Kerry -- they must
be dropping bricks. You're on to them. Go get 'em, boy! Idiots who
figure out that typefaces didn't exist when your sources said they
did aren't part of our intellectual demographic anyway.
The planets must be in alignment, too, because it's not just
Clooney. That Emmy Awards tribute to you, Tom, and the sainted
Peter (can't they speed up his canonization?) was fantastic. The
more our Hollywood liberal friends lament the passing of that
communitarian day when we put out the same perspective through
three different talking heads -- well, that helps immensely.
Dan, when so many in the business have forgotten loyalty, you
haven't, and we love you for that. You do know that we had to let
you go. "Rathergate" was something we just couldn't sustain.
Say, did they actually give you Emmys this time? Just
wondering.
topics:
Business, Hollywood, Law
