By Ben Stein on 7.15.05 @ 1:49AM
There are a lot of lonely people out there. But you can help.
BEVERLY HILLS -- For my sins, my wife, who is also by far my
best friend, is out of town on a mission of mercy for not only this
summer, but for most of the next twelve months. And, although I
have lived in Los Angeles for almost thirty years and have many
friends here and a lot to do taking care of our many dogs and cats,
plus a bit of work to do each day, I am lonely.
I walk the streets of Beverly Hills with my dogs and when I see
a couple smiling and talking together, I am acutely jealous -- even
though my wife has only been gone about five weeks so far and will
come home on occasion. I do get to talk to her several times a day,
and I do get to sleep in bed with my beautiful German short-haired
pointer, Brigid, but I am lonely.
This puts me in mind of people who have real loneliness
problems: women whose husband are in Iraq and Afghanistan. Men
whose wives are in Bosnia or Okinawa. These are people with
feelings every bit as real as mine, who feel pain and emptiness at
least as much as I do, and they don't see their spouses or loved
ones for a year at a time. And they all dread seeing a government
car coming up the street with a chaplain in it, which will mean
they will never see their husband or wife again on this earth.
Then I think of women who were married to a man for 60 years,
and then one day they came home from the hospital alone. Or men who
never loved anyone but one woman in their whole lives -- like my
father with my mother -- and then one day had to live, for the only
time in his life, at age 80, by himself. Or the child whose father
will never come through the door again because of a roadside bomb
in Mosul.
There are a lot of lonely people out there. And they are
hurting. Loneliness hurts like the cut of a knife. Mine is only the
smallest pinprick. I'll see my wife again soon, if all's well. But
what about the Army and Marine wives who go to sleep in their
king-sized beds alone for a year? What about the Navy Seal's wife
who just heard that her husband will not be coming home from
Afghanistan? Or the man who never learned to make a bed and now his
wife is gone forever and he's eating out of a can watching a TV
show he can't even hear? Or the child whose father will never teach
him how to bat a ball or parallel park because he's in a military
cemetery?
Our lives are measured by what we do for others, not by how much
money we make. Spending time with lonely people, military families,
widows, widowers, this is a pretty easy way to make a huge
difference in a suffering human life. So when you think of your
uncle who just lost his aunt, when you think of the woman down the
street whose husband was just called up by the Guard and sent to
Iraq, don't just think about them: ask them out to dinner. Invite
them to a barbecue. Just call them up to gossip.
People are always asking me for stock tips because they think I
know something about the market. Usually, I don't. But I do know
this. Sharing company with a lonely man or woman or child is about
as good an investment in your own net worth as a human being as you
can make. Do it today.
topics:
Military, Iraq