Baghdad itself is quiet. It’s the rest of the country that has
problems. Even though there have been many people killed nationwide
in the past couple of days, very few were killed in the city. The
soldiers are doing a pretty good job of keeping things peaceful.
They continue to speed around in their pick-ups looking and acting
like a convention of Rambos.
1) Even in the peace and quiet of the new
Baghdad, things can be noisy. At exactly noon the other day there
was a very loud explosion at the offices right next door to ours.
My first thought was that our neighbors had been hit by a mortar
shell. I went running out to see the excitement.
All I could see was the Peshmerga guards and other curious
onlookers such as myself wandering aimlessly around. The guards
shrugged their shoulders in a sign they had no idea what it
was.
Three or four minutes later there was a second very loud
explosion and a lot of smoke came from behind one of the walls next
door. Oddly, however, I saw no debris flying up in the air.
It turned out that the neighboring office’s Security Director
had conducted an unannounced drill using things called
“flash-bangs.” They sound like the real thing but do no damage. The
SD, an Australian from Virginia called Blue, came out to say the
purpose of the drill was to show people they shouldn’t go running
out in the street to see the excitement.
“All of you fools who ran out would have been killed by that
second mortar shell,” he said.
Three days later, the Army issued an intelligence bulletin about
the possibility of “indirect fire” on the Red Zone. Indirect fire
consists of mortar shells, RPG’s (Rocket Propelled Grenades) and
the like. It cautioned everyone to stay away from windows and to be
ready to get under a table or desk. Things haven’t advanced very
far from the atomic bomb drills of the early 1950s!
The intelligence bulletin was printed in very bright red block
letters. In part it said: “All personnel are instructed to refrain
from running to any impact location ‘to see what is going on.’”
2) There’s an unbelievable flood of $100 bills in
Iraq. I go to the PX to do my shopping for stuff like toothpaste
and shampoo. They are usually out of stock. The sign says: “We are
out of a lot of things because the supply convoy was blown up!”
That is absolute crap. They no doubt forgot to order, or have no
idea of what is out of stock.
What I have noticed at the checkout point is that half the
world’s $100 bills seem to be in Iraq. People who have bought $3 of
merchandise all pay with $100 bills! I finally figured out the
reason. So many people here are paid their salary in cash, that the
place is flooded with 100’s. All our employees, for example, are
paid in cash because going to a bank is dangerous and takes far too
much time.
The result of the policy of paying in 100’s has resulted in a
great shortage of 1’s, and 5’s, and 10’s, in particular.
There is one very smart thing they have done, however. Maybe
it’s an old idea and is done everywhere there is a PX, especially
overseas. They give you NO change or silver coins at all! The
silver has been replaced by very light cardboard “coins” with
bright pictures on them. They are issued in the same denominations
as regular coins. They can be used only in the PX.
The military estimates they have saved tens of millions of
dollars a year in aviation fuel and transportation-related costs,
by not having to ship thousands of tons of coins all over the world
by plane.
If only they were as clever about everything else!
3) Last night I went to the Al Rasheed for a
haircut. I have been told by my driver that Iraqi barbers are the
best in the world! I have no idea who established that ranking, or
what standards were used to measure it.
Of one thing, however, there can be no doubt. Iraqi barbers are,
hands down, the fastest in the world. You can’t see the blades on
the scissors because they are going so fast. Just like the blades
on an airplane propeller. It reminded me of one of those Japanese
restaurants where the chef is slicing and dicing the shrimp right
in front of you. The knife blade can hardly be seen and the guy
always finishes up with a big flourish, as if performing a grand
finale at the Fourth of July fireworks.
That is how he finished my haircut — with a sharp crack on the
top of my head with the side of the scissors. One of the women in
the office says I look “much younger.”
4) Arabs write “backwards,” that is, from right to
left. Book pages are also numbered from “back to front,” at least
by our standards. The way I have noticed this is that manila
folders containing our files are all placed “backward” in the
filing cabinets!! I can’t find a thing!
5) The temperature outside our office yesterday
was 129 degrees!!! That is hot! Thank God it’s dry heat. All you
feel is very deep, searing pain without any of the stickiness that
accompanies humidity.
6) A few moments ago the following story came
across my computer from the AP:
“A militant strapped with more than 100 pounds of explosives and
disguised in an Army uniform blew himself up in a crowded mess-hall
Wednesday…The blast killed 26 soldiers.”
How the hell does ANYONE get into ANYPLACE with 100 pounds of
explosives strapped to himself?! He must have looked like that
Michelin tire character. Where are the sniffer dogs? Where are the
security checks? Where are the magnetometers? How many times must
the Iraqis fall prey to this same kind of attack before they wise
up and start to protect themselves? This attack illustrates the
reckless stupidity of some Iraqi commanding officers.
7) One of the untold stories about the war and its
immediate aftermath is that we may never know or understand the
extent of the damage caused by the wholesale looting carried out by
Iraqis after Saddam was ousted.
Post-war looting was savage and absolutely breathtaking in its
scope. It resulted in the destruction of much of Iraq’s industrial
infrastructure. I believe that the looting resulted in far more
damage than was caused by the U.S. Air Force during the war itself.
Personal observation has shown me the Americans did engage in
“surgical” destruction that brought a lot of truth to the meaning
of that overused term. They destroyed what needed to be destroyed
for purposes of winning the war. The rest was left untouched. MANY
“stones were left unturned.” If someone in the targeting office
decided we didn’t need to break this building or that bridge, the
thing was left alone, even if everything else around it was knocked
down.
We all saw lots of looting on TV after the end of the war.
Thousands of people walking off with furniture, mattresses, TV’s,
computers, and God knows how many other things. That was bad enough
but the looting I am talking about is the senseless destruction of
factories and power plants with explosives and sledgehammers and
whatever other weapon was available.
We now receive proposals “to rebuild, replace, and rehabilitate”
hundreds of millions of dollars worth of electric power sources
that were in working condition even after the war. Then the looters
arrived! All the proposals very frankly point out that much of the
damage in need of repair was caused by looters. No one seems to
really know exactly why it happened, but it is very clear that a
great deal of the damage in Iraq was caused by the Iraqis
themselves in some paroxysm of destruction. Obviously, it is the
Iraqis themselves who today are paying the price for that fit of
insanity.
Somewhere in the Defense Department there must be someone (I
hope there is someone) who is asking the question: “How the hell
did nobody think of the possibility of looting?”
8) You may recall my driver Osama. He is the guy
who almost got both of us killed when he tried to pass a convoy of
Humvees.
It turns out that Osama is the world’s most brilliant handyman.
He can literally fix anything — a car, an electric generator, an
M-5 carbine, a clock, a vacuum cleaner, an oven, a cell phone or
all the plumbing in the house. No matter the size or nature of the
problem, or the extent of the damage, Osama can have it working
again in no time.
At one time only the outlets on the north side of my room
worked. After a short house visit from Osama, everything works.
Osama is now my best friend in Iraq.
9) I just had a visit in my room from Aziz. He is
a big, gentle, very friendly Iraqi engineer who heads up our group
of site inspectors. Although today (Friday) is their holiday, he
came into the office to get some stuff to take on a trip to Mosul
tomorrow. THAT is a dangerous trip! I pray he will make it
safely!
I asked him what’s new. He replied that a car bomb once again
went off near his house out at BIAP. It blew out most of the
windows in the house. It is the second time in two weeks that has
happened — and the eleventh time overall since “the end of
hostilities,” as he describes it with a big smile. He said “maybe
the owner of the glass factory is doing this!” I can’t believe the
patience and forbearance of the Iraqis in the face of all this.
10) I was going to conclude with that last item,
but since I’ve just returned from a visit to the United Nations
compound, I feel compelled to unburden myself of what I learned
there.
The reason for my trip was to escort two of our engineers to one
of their X-ray machines which was not working. The compound is in
the Green Zone. Iraqis can’t go there unescorted so my DoD badge
was needed to get us all in. I was quickly recruited since we
assumed lives were at risk with this inoperative X-ray taker.
When we arrived at the GZ we were quickly checked up and down by
the 3rd ID (Infantry Division). As always, they checked the bottom
of the car, not because they think we are bringing in a bomb, but
because it is possible someone else affixed a bomb to our car and
we are the carriers. Hooked up to a proper timer such a bomb could
kill dozens of people.
Once the 3rd ID finished with us, they directed us toward the UN
checkpoint, which was no more than 25 yards away. When we got there
we had to blow our horn to get someone’s attention! Soon enough a
blue helmeted UN soldier came out and apologized. He said he was
drinking his tea. The soldier is a member of the Armed Forces of
Fiji.
When he began to check the bottom of our car again, I objected
very mildly. I pointed out that the chore had just been completed
by a U.S. soldier in the company of a sniffer dog. He remarked that
the UN does not accept the results of U.S. Army inspections, as
thorough as they might be. Further complicating our trip was the
fact that our driver Osama was armed with a pistol and he was made
to surrender it. I didn’t have to do anything because today I opted
to wear only my body armor and to finesse my usual arsenal. The
memory of Yasser Arafat speaking to the UN General Assembly with a
pistol dangling from his holster persuaded me not to repeat the
insult.
When we finally arrived at the entrance to the UN compound we
were greeted effusively by another five members of the Fijian Army.
I said to the Sergeant that I felt I had just met up with 60% of
the Fijian Armed Forces. He said, “Oh no, sir, we have 2,000
troops!” He did point out that the soldier next to him was actually
an Indian soldier on loan to the Fijians and was now wearing a
Fijian uniform. I have no explanation for why the Fijians can’t
stock their Army with Fijians and are forced to borrow from the
Indian Army.
When we were finally brought into the presence of the X-ray
machines we were all flabbergasted. There was no long line of dying
patients waiting to have their insides checked out. It turned out
they were airport X-ray devices. The Fijian Army had basically
“blown up its equipment” by plugging it into an outlet with the
wrong voltage!
So the UN was letting people into their compound by making
believe the X-ray machine was working when, in fact, it had blown
its cork! I asked the female Sergeant if that worried her. She
replied: “No one will do harm to the United Nations.”
You should not believe those reports that the UN has permanently
fled from Iraq to their usual hideout in Cyprus since the car bomb
explosion that killed about 25 of their people last year. I know
the UN is back because I was at their compound less than an hour
ago, and you should see the fantastic security set-up they have
this time!
