The American Spectator

At Large

Iraqi Clippings

By John Connly Walsh on 6.22.05 @ 12:09AM

Baghdad itself is quiet. It's the rest of the country that has problems. Even though there have been many people killed nationwide in the past couple of days, very few were killed in the city. The soldiers are doing a pretty good job of keeping things peaceful. They continue to speed around in their pick-ups looking and acting like a convention of Rambos.

1) Even in the peace and quiet of the new Baghdad, things can be noisy. At exactly noon the other day there was a very loud explosion at the offices right next door to ours. My first thought was that our neighbors had been hit by a mortar shell. I went running out to see the excitement.

All I could see was the Peshmerga guards and other curious onlookers such as myself wandering aimlessly around. The guards shrugged their shoulders in a sign they had no idea what it was.

Three or four minutes later there was a second very loud explosion and a lot of smoke came from behind one of the walls next door. Oddly, however, I saw no debris flying up in the air.

It turned out that the neighboring office's Security Director had conducted an unannounced drill using things called "flash-bangs." They sound like the real thing but do no damage. The SD, an Australian from Virginia called Blue, came out to say the purpose of the drill was to show people they shouldn't go running out in the street to see the excitement.

"All of you fools who ran out would have been killed by that second mortar shell," he said.

Three days later, the Army issued an intelligence bulletin about the possibility of "indirect fire" on the Red Zone. Indirect fire consists of mortar shells, RPG's (Rocket Propelled Grenades) and the like. It cautioned everyone to stay away from windows and to be ready to get under a table or desk. Things haven't advanced very far from the atomic bomb drills of the early 1950s!

The intelligence bulletin was printed in very bright red block letters. In part it said: "All personnel are instructed to refrain from running to any impact location 'to see what is going on.'"

2) There's an unbelievable flood of $100 bills in Iraq. I go to the PX to do my shopping for stuff like toothpaste and shampoo. They are usually out of stock. The sign says: "We are out of a lot of things because the supply convoy was blown up!" That is absolute crap. They no doubt forgot to order, or have no idea of what is out of stock.

What I have noticed at the checkout point is that half the world's $100 bills seem to be in Iraq. People who have bought $3 of merchandise all pay with $100 bills! I finally figured out the reason. So many people here are paid their salary in cash, that the place is flooded with 100's. All our employees, for example, are paid in cash because going to a bank is dangerous and takes far too much time.

The result of the policy of paying in 100's has resulted in a great shortage of 1's, and 5's, and 10's, in particular.

There is one very smart thing they have done, however. Maybe it's an old idea and is done everywhere there is a PX, especially overseas. They give you NO change or silver coins at all! The silver has been replaced by very light cardboard "coins" with bright pictures on them. They are issued in the same denominations as regular coins. They can be used only in the PX.

The military estimates they have saved tens of millions of dollars a year in aviation fuel and transportation-related costs, by not having to ship thousands of tons of coins all over the world by plane.

If only they were as clever about everything else!

3) Last night I went to the Al Rasheed for a haircut. I have been told by my driver that Iraqi barbers are the best in the world! I have no idea who established that ranking, or what standards were used to measure it.

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Transportation, Military, Iraq, United Nations