For such a disturbing and unfair practice to children, surrogate
parenthood gets very little attention. Using surrogate parenthood,
American society is forming a class of children without biological
parents known to them, and nobody seems to care. Deliberately
depriving a child of a biological mother and father is a serious
injustice. Yet where is the outrage about surrogacy? Where is the
concern for the rights of children?
Last week the Washington Post reported on the growing market for surrogate
pregnancies — one more outgrowth of a moral culture that could not
care less if children have mothers and fathers. According to the
Post, “Scott,” a middle-aged gay man, just wanted
“somebody to love me” and “somebody to love,” and so began his
search for “gestational surrogates.” At a coffee shop, he recently
interviewed five prospects to carry his child. After chatting with
each one for 90 minutes, Scott found his match. It was
surrogacy-at-first-sight.
While we bemoan the culture of broken families and cheapened
parenthood, we are enlarging that culture through science. The
therapy culture talks about nurturing the identity of children.
What could confuse their identity more than the complicating and
bewildering starting point of surrogacy?
The twisted character of the surrogacy market illustrates the
creepiness of the practice. Want to shop for the ideal donor?
Search commercial firms’ databases online, such as donoregg1.com. A quick
search for a blond-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian woman pursuing
doctoral studies between the heights of 5’4” and 5’8” turned up a
first-year medical student of Northern European decent who enjoys
cooking, camping, and swimming.
Bought-and-sold parenthood necessarily means children get
parents manifestly lacking the essential qualities of parenthood.
As the Post story explains, the perfect stand-in womb for
two Richmond lawyers’ child was Lori Berry because “she was adamant
that she wanted no more children.” Tracy Thorne-Begland said, “We
were really comfortable that she was going to take care of our
children the way she took care of hers.” His partner Michael told
the Post, “We had the house, the dog and the white picket
fence, and we decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives
together.” The child becomes the pièce de
résistance of lifestyle decorating.
Surrogacy produces problems all around. Consider one gestational
surrogate who in late 2003 found the truths of motherhood painfully
evident. Pseudo-parents-to-be James Flynn and his fiancé
only visited surrogate Danielle Bimber and her triplets in the
hospital once in the week after birth. Accordingly, Bimber deemed
them neglectful and took home the boys rather than see them placed
in foster care. Earlier this month, a judge denied Flynn and egg
donor Jennifer Rice their custodial claims. The judge insisted the
decision was about “bad parenting,” not surrogacy. Yet surrogacy is
bad parenting — child abuse, really — from the start.
A couple red herrings should not distract from surrogacy’s
immoral treatment of children and horrific objectification of human
life. The Post article focuses on homosexuality, but
surrogacy is wrong irrespective of the parent’s sexual orientation.
Homosexual advocacy groups and the surrogacy industry are
attempting to shroud this practice under gay rights. Since only
half the demand for surrogacy is from homosexuals, attacking
homosexual parenting will not truly address the issue. Also, the
market is not the primary harm as some states treat it, banning
only compensated surrogacy contracts. Prostitution is still wrong
without the money. Yet such wrongs are much easier to identify when
sold. Procreation must not be reduced to a major mid-life
purchase.
This ethical and legal culture needs to be challenged by
pro-family organizations and lawmakers. State law should better
relate the creation of human life to marriage. According to the
Human Rights Campaign, six states permit surrogacy in varied
degrees, the District of Columbia and 11 states substantially
restrict or prohibit surrogacy, and the laws and case law in the
remaining states are unclear. Minimally, lawmakers should prohibit
the reproductive market and ban surrogacy contracts. Michigan law
would make an excellent model, since it prohibits all surrogacy
agreements and even levies fines and jail time on parties to them.
No matter what action the think tanks and politicians take, our
society cannot continue to allow such disrespect for children and
human dignity.
