By Enemy Central on 12.7.04 @ 12:06AM
The Kerry era honors its own.
President-elect John Kerry is settling in quite nicely, thank
you. Graciously, one might say. Just to erase any doubt, in Ohio
his campaign is making doubly sure every vote was counted in his
favor. Last week a new Commerce Secretary was nominated, with
Kerryesque assurances from the man naming him that the new choice
would especially look out for woman and minorities. As a foretaste
of his responsible fiscal goals, word leaked that Kerry had
declined to spend at least $15 million of his election funds.
Unlike our own, Kerry's dollars remain strong abroad. He is free to
visit his French properties anytime.
If any doubts remained as to who is now in charge, the annual
Kennedy Center awards this past weekend put them to rest for good.
Even Mrs. Kerry deigned attend, and in the company of her husband.
Heading the laureates was Mr. Warren Beatty. He won for the usual
Clintonian-Kerryist reasons. As his wife explained to a palpitating
audience, Warren and women go way back. So no hypocrisies, please.
This, mind you, was said in the presence of their young children,
and the kids' Uncle Jack Nicholson, none of whom covered either
eyes or ears. As the Washington Post noted, Jack was just
being Jack (assuming that's possible if the Lakers aren't playing).
By that it meant Jack made various jokes about Viagra and Cialis.
In front of the damaged children.
Least but not last, Kerry internationalite Elton John also
scored a Kennedy Center honor. Fortunately for all concerned, Sir
Elton took note of the new tone in Kerry America and declined to
dub any of the reporters covering the event "rude, vile pigs," an
endearment he'd picked up in Taipei a few months back. John-pal
Billy Joel entertained the distinguished guests with a rendition of
his ballad, "The Bitch Is Back." Colin Powell performed a somewhat
suaver rap.
How sad that Mr. Tom Brokaw, self-described eyewitness to
history, was not on hand to witness this latest demonstration of
its end. Tom remains greatly missed, even as he fades from memory
less than a week into retirement. It was more fun when we
eyewitnessed history together, watching the same tapes of major
events that he did. Now we can't be sure he even turns on the TV,
unless it's to watch videos of his greatest hits. If you know what
might be on those tapes, drop us a line.
Not everyone is as confident as we are that we've entered the
Kerry era. Maybe it requires feminine intuition. Ms. Tina Brown,
for instance, filed a column last week that said not a thing about
Mr. Kerry not to mention Messrs. Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld-Rove. It was
all about Prince Diana and how manipulative and scheming she really
was. The great Maureen Dowd has gone even further. True, she did
commiserate with Mr. Brokaw regarding the outrage that he has been
succeeded by another white male. Though Mr. B. did nothing to groom
a non-white, non-male heir, he assumed no one better looking would
ever come along. Ratings for Mr. Brian Williams suggest he was
wrong. Which must break Ms. Dowd's achy heart to smithereens. Her
last offering spoke ruefully of all the Christmas presents she'd
wasted over the years on men who are now with different women. She
seems to have given up on politics entirely. As one wag observed,
she is looking inward.
Democrats will need to look elsewhere for guidance. One of their
leaders appeared on "Meet the Press" to describe how he intends to
help his party move to the middle. Whereupon he denounced
Republicans as ruthless tools of the Robber Barons and turned on
Justice Clarence Thomas with all the glee of Simon Lagree. As for
his own pro-life views, he let it be known that there is only one
woman in this world that he regards as his sister, and that would
be Sen. Barbara Boxer. This anti-life figurine needs no
introduction, but he sure does. He's Senate Democratic leader Harry
Reid. For this Enemy of the Week, we got rid of Tom
Daschle?