WASHINGTON — “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.” The next time
you’re tempted to say this, have a care. If some in Congress get
their way, it could bring the FBI a-knocking on your door.
For some reason, in the midst of the war on terrorism and debates
about the economy and Social Security, Congress is trying to
criminalize horsemeat. It wants federal law enforcement — the
folks we rely on to investigate kidnappings and prevent terrorist
attacks — to stop people from buying and selling meat that comes
from horses.
Low carb dieters should be particularly upset. Horsemeat has far
fewer calories than beef, and it’s low in fat and high in
protein. If that isn’t made for South Beach, what is? According
to the USDA, horsemeat has “a flavor somewhat between that of
beef and venison.” Why would Congress want to deprive Americans
of such gallopin’ good steaks? Apparently, a small-but-vocal
posse of horse lovers and animal rights types has been riding
Congress for years to stop “the horse holocaust.”
In Congress, 226 representatives and 10 senators have cosponsored
the “American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act.” Even the “Puppy
Protection Act” only has 52 cosponsors. And no, we’re not making
this up.
Ironically, the “American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act” is not
about preventing the slaughter of horses. It does nothing to stop
horses from being killed for dog food or glue or as a good
Godfather-style warning. The Act would only outlaw the
killing of, or commerce in, horses for “human consumption.” A
better name for the bill might be the “More Horses for Glue Act.”
THE BILL IS REALLY morals legislation. For Hindus, cows are
sacred and not to be eaten. But do the Hindus run around trying
to criminalize beef? No, at least not in America. But certain
pious horse lovers will not be satisfied until the federal
government criminalizes all those who don’t share their values.
The legislation also tastes a lot like cultural imperialism.
While the number of Americans chowing down on horse steaks is
near zero, equine entrées are actually quite popular other
countries, especially Italy, France, and the Netherlands. Their
acceptance of culinary diversity was particularly important
during the mad cow scare, when horsemeat replaced beef for some
Europeans.
Historically, outside of Jewish and Muslim areas, horsemeat was
common fare and was used in certain pagan religious ceremonies.
Some Native Americans ate horsemeat, as shown by Lewis and
Clark’s record of a gift from northwestern tribes of “20 pounds
of very fat dried horsemeat.” The fact that today most Americans
wouldn’t voluntarily pick “Horse Ribs” off a menu is a bad reason
to make such a choice illegal.
After all, aren’t there a lot of meats that Americans shouldn’t
be allowed to eat? When is Congress going to make it a crime to
cook a cat casserole, fondue a ferret, or wok your dog?
Let’s be serious. Passing special interest legislation to
sanctify the remains of Mr. Ed would set a terrible precedent.
Once they start down the road of food criminalization, the only
meat we can be certain Congress will protect is pork.
SOME SUPPORTERS OF THE horse bill argue that horsemeat is unsafe
or that the process of converting stallion to steak is
particularly inhumane. Even if true, these are not arguments for
criminalization. John Baker, a law professor at Louisiana State
University, recently sounded the alarm over an explosion of
federal criminal laws. Congress’s own research service has
admitted that they don’t even know how many federal crimes exist,
but, according to Baker, the number is around 4,000. Most of
these laws have been created in the last few decades, and many
originated with this same kind of special interest lobbying and
congressional grandstanding.
The most troubling thing about many of these new crimes is that
they buck the traditional requirement that government prosecutors
prove criminal intent (traditionally called mens rea)
before they can send you to the federal pen. The Horse Act is a
particularly lame example of this trend, potentially
criminalizing even those who sell horses without knowing that the
buyer intends to kill them for human food or buy meat without
realizing that it is horse. Such sloppy legislative drafting can
make well-meaning people into outlaws. This alone ought to
convince people to say, “Neigh.”
Whether you view horses as just really fast cows or as some kind
of majestic land dolphin, a new federal crime is the last thing
we need. Illinois made it legal over the summer to name pets as
beneficiaries in your will, but even it said no to criminalizing
horse cuisine. State Rep. Charles Morrow challenged: “If you can
eat Bo Peep, Bugs Bunny, and Bambi, why can’t you eat Mr. Ed?”
Indeed, Americans everywhere should bridle at this attempt to
restrict culinary freedom and say “whoa” to turning cultural
taboos into criminal laws.
