The American Spectator

At Large

One Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

By Reid Collins on 10.25.04 @ 12:04AM

"So what's wrong with it?"

Uncle Pundit, just back from a driving tour of Montana, and testy on the subject of the absent flu vaccine, had dummied up an ad for the Washington Post.

ATTENTION PHYSICIANS !!!

PATIENT AVAILABLE. MEDICARE, TWO CO-INSURERS. PROMPT

FOR APPOINTMENTS. COURTEOUS TO OFFICE STAFF AND NURSES.

YEARLY TAKE (YOUR INCOME) IN THE THOUSANDS.

CONSIDERATION; ONE FLU SHOT.

CONTACT; (PHONE NUMBER)

I tried to explain that no self-respecting doctor would answer such an advertisement. Doctors simply do not advertise.

"Of course not. But this is a patient advertising. Me. You want me to enter that stupid Montgomery County lottery?"

A Maryland county dangerously close to the District of Columbia has announced a drawing for 800 flu shots it unaccountably has on hand, and nearly all of its 13 million or so residents are expected to submit their names for the lottery.

No, Uncle, unless you are a bigger gambler than I thought. But what if some unscrupulous Doctor answers your ad, gives you a flu shot, and then you discover he is a charlatan, a bad doctor?

"Then, I quit him. Like the guy I got now who won't answer the phone and has a recording by his nurse that says 'Doctor's office. No flu shots. For other inquiries leave your name and phone number after the beep.'"

But you promise to patronize this new guy in return for the shot.

"What's he gonna do? Sue? Admit publicly he took me on in return for a measly flu shot? Excuse me. I gotta wash my hands."

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Hollywood, Medicare