The American Spectator

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Having waded through Lawyer Van Os’s blather about Rather and all of that other clap trap, after exhaling a heavy sigh as Al Gore might have done in 2000 had he been forced to listen to a recitation of Van Os’s credentials and proclamations of how “ethical” he is, permit me to sum it all up with a diplomatic reference to what Vice President Dick Cheney said to Senator Patrick “Leaky” Leahy not too long ago …

p>You’re not fooling anyone. br> — John Weathers br> Washington, D.C., former El Paso resident. /p>

It’s a good thing that David van Os wrote what he did in his email. I don’t think it is possible for a human to speak those words out loud without either a tall glass of water or a stiff drink to clear the blockages that would accumulate in the larynx. There are two exceptions: a man of the cloth or a man of law. Since he seems to lack the eloquence of the Rt. Rev. Jackson, I must retreat to understanding that he is David van Os, Esquire.

It interesting to note that polls on the believability of lawyers as individuals or as a profession have always been low. Even when a famous Arkansas lawyer was called “an unusually good liar” and later disbarred, it did not lower their already poor rating. Ever the good sports, M. Rather and CBS, M. Raines and the New York Times, and others in the mainstream media have been trying to lift the lawyers’ rating by aiming even lower, but lawyers have tenaciously held their low ranking tightly in their ice-cold fingers.

It is interesting to note that it was and is very hard to prove that criminal leaders, from Al Capone through today, are actually mobsters. Very good lawyers help them claim that they are “honest businessmen.” Does this fool anyone? Was John Gotti really a mobster? His lawyer patently denied it. Legally, Al Capone was simply bad with numbers and went to prison for tax evasion. In reality, he and his syphilitic brain masterminded a record of terror that like Babe Ruth’s stood for decades.

I am open minded, and willing to believe what M. van Os tells us, that his lawyer peers hold him in high esteem. In fact, I am sure that M. Van Os, M. Kerry, and M. Edwards are all shining examples of their profession. Perhaps they aspire to equal M. Clinton’s unimpeachable ethics and honesty. After a brilliant career in the legal profession and politics, it was only late in Clinton’s career that he was actually caught uttering a partial truth while under oath and disbarred. Since M. Van Os was not under oath while he wrote the email, there are no actionable statements.

p>I for one am relieved that M. Van Os has promised that his client is innocent and he is also spotless and pure. I can sleep easier tonight knowing that nothing happened, and nobody is guilty of fraud or slander. br> — Newt Love br> Annapolis, Maryland