WASHINGTON — CBS had everyone waiting with bated breath
yesterday for a momentous statement on what is now dubbed
“Rathergate,” the scandal over the false Bush National Guard memos.
This announcement was initially set for noon, then was pushed back
to 5 p.m., and was finally released sometime after six o’clock. The
following is what had everyone hanging:
We established to our satisfaction that the memos were
accurate or we would not have put them on television. There was a
great deal of coroborating [sic] evidence from people in a position
to know. Having said that, given all the questions about them, we
believe we should redouble our efforts to answer those questions,
so that’s what we are doing.
I’d call that gobbledygook, but that would slander the term.
This is barely worth deconstructing, and I’m only doing it because
it is a lonely Wednesday evening for me.
We established to our satisfaction…
And that satisfaction threshold is so low it needs a trip on the
Space Shuttle just to tie a midget’s shoelaces. I’m sure Richard
Nixon established to his satisfaction that paying off the Watergate
burglars was the right thing to do. I’m sure Howell Raines
established to his satisfaction that Jayson Blair was a competent
reporter. When you get caught with your pants down, don’t expect us
to take you seriously when you say that you established to your
satisfaction that nudity was appropriate.
…that the memos were accurate or we would not have put
them on television.
Fake, but accurate. In other words, CBS had some doubts about
the memos’ authenticity, but they reflected what some other shlubs
like Ben Barnes had said, so they went with them. Think about that.
CBS’s standard on fake evidence is that it is okay to report it as
long as someone else says it reflects actual events. Well, I’ve
found a new memo from Dan Rather, showing that he didn’t give a
damn about the accuracy of Vietnam vets as long as they told
harrowing stories. Of course, I made it up, but hey, we know that
it is supported by actual events.
There was a great deal of coroborating [sic]
evidence…
And we’ve put so much thought into that sentence that we
misspelled a key word.
…from people in a position to know.
Who are those people, aside from Ben Barnes? This requires the
reader to take huge leap of faith. Having bungled in authenticating
the memos, CBS wants us to believe they really have a lot of good
sources. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. If you violate our
trust in such a big way on one major aspect of a story, you can’t
say “trust us” on all of the other aspects of it. In short, this is
another CBS attempt to keep its sources hidden.
Having said that…
Why is there a need to say anymore? The memos are accurate, if
not real. People “in a position to know” have confirmed their
accuracy. That phrase is the tip-off that “those in the know” at
CBS know that they have messed up in a big way.
…given all the questions about them, we believe we
should redouble our efforts to answer those questions, so that’s
what we are doing.
That is the most misleading part of the statement. CBS can only
redouble its efforts if it was making a serious effort to answer
“those questions” in the first place. So far CBS has done nothing
but stonewall and question the motives of those raising “those
questions.” The blogosphere will probably feel patronized by that
line, and rightly so.
Finally, “those questions” is intentionally vague, because one
of the questions is surely, “Who was the source of the memos?” CBS
wouldn’t have to redouble its efforts to answer that question —
indeed, it would take no effort at all. But by using the phrase
“those questions,” if a CBS executive is ever pressed on the
source, he can say that wasn’t one of the questions they had in
mind.
The statement reflects an organization that is arrogant,
bullheaded, and in denial. It is an organization whose credibility
is shot, and whose reputation will soon lie in ashes.
