If John Edwards is such a smart lawyer, how come one of the
first questions he asked in his big speech was, “And by the way,
how great was Teresa Heinz Kerry last night?” Unless someone was
playing with the mute button on my TV, I didn’t detect much of a
response. I think I heard more groans than anything else.
Hah, I thought. So much for Edwards the clever trial lawyer. But
then I remembered he’d flashed his killer smile as he asked about
Teresa. He knew exactly what he was doing. The yokels — and
Edwards talks down to most everyone as if that’s what they were —
would think, oh, what a nice young man to say something sweet about
Mrs. Kerry. As for the sophisticated rest, they’d know Edwards was
already paying John Kerry back for the numerous indignities he has
already suffered at his hands as his running mate. Why not remind
this world of the Teresa fiasco? Note how he worded the question:
“how great was Teresa…?” — not, “wasn’t she great?” He was
noncommittal, in short, merely asking for information, sticking the
knife in.
The rest of the speech never rose to greater heights. True, his
marvelous Carolinian accent was a pleasant reminder that the South
is the last place that still produces politicians who sound like
politicians. (Think anyone will be more listenable at the GOP
convention than Zell Miller?) Edwards’ pronunciation of “woohnded”
(apropos Kerry’s wounds) was by itself worth the price of
admission.
Beforehand word was that Edwards would be positive and not say
anything mean about Bush & Co. Yes, and Edwards got filthy rich
by helping the poor without ever playing the viper. So without
naming it by name (that wouldn’t be cowardly) he prefaced his
message of hope by attacking the Bush campaign for its “relentless
negative attacks against John,” predicting more such (“aren’t you
[yokels] sick of it?”) and concluding, “They are doing all they can
to take the campaign for the highest office in the land down the
lowest possible road.”
From there the path was clear for the boy scout’s “Hope is on
the way” routine — the slogan itself a cheap retort to Dick
Cheney’s “Help is on the way” promise during Campaign 2000.
Nonetheless, reprising the “two Americas” talk that made Edwards
famous with the press during the primaries made no sense at all.
Most glaringly, it clashed with the themes laid out by Bill Clinton
and Barack Obama who insisted on one America and blamed divisive
talk on Republicans. Adding to the incoherence, Edwards proceeded
to apply the Hope slogan precisely the same way Cheney had — as a
promise to our military that it would be honored and enhanced.
Before the night was through Edwards was uttering the most hawkish
talk Fox’s Bill Kristol had heard from a top Democrat in eons.
Edwards wasn’t through lifting from Republicans, as he echoed the
post-9/11 President Bush by promising “Al Qaeda and these
terrorists: You cannot run. You cannot hide. We will destroy you.”
At this rate, Kerry tonight will rediscover the Axis of Evil.
How the delegates who packed the Fleet Center last night reacted
wasn’t clear. Hawkishness wasn’t supposed to be on the program. It
was too late to consult with Howard Dean. And before anyone could
break out into discussion groups, a deafening collection of rap
rockers took the stage. Call it Democratic-style crowd and mind
control. In a flash, the image of the dangerous-sounding Edwards
was erased from everyone’s memory. Party leaders were confident the
yokels wouldn’t mind.
