The American Spectator

Reader Mail

p> QUE SERA SARAH! br> Re: P. David Hornik's Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dogs' Tails : /p>

I can speak from the perspective of a child of divorce. My mother was a "Sarah." She left my dad in 1981 because she said she was "not happy." My brother and I were under 5 years old. I am convinced that the vast majority of children like ourselves, and there are a lot of us out there, react with extreme anger towards our mothers.

Divorce is bad; I think what makes it doubly bad is something I've never heard anyone say before but is one of my undeniable truths of life: stepmothers, unless a font of class and/or religiosity, will be outright hostile to their stepchildren; and most divorced fathers will remarry. The same is not true for step-fathers.

While our step-mom was abusing us, my mother was out "finding herself." It's too long a story why I'm not as upset with my dad.

Selfishness, narcissism, and the belief that gender differences were cultural helped push these women into feelings that their husbands are making them suffer. If a husband "knows" a woman needs to talk but he "refuses" to ask her about her feelings, of course she is going to think he doesn't care or is even hostile to her!

I'm married, and my values are a marked contrast from my mother's. I would never allow done to my children what was done to me. I hear about other divorced children who have problems with relationships; frankly, I just don't think they're that smart. If you can't observe your parents, reason what their mistakes were, and do differently... That being said, I do think there is something to the question, "...could it be we're finding out that -- contrary to the lore and assumptions of the ages -- women just don't like men that much?" I love my husband and he is my best friend, but if something should happened to him, I would not remarry; we are getting a life insurance policy that would allow me continue staying home, unmarried, with no worries. My husband needs me emotionally far more than I need him. My experience, especially with old people, tells me I'm not alone.

p>Your overall point about the war, I think, is a good one. The divorce types give up easily. Fortunately, we are one generation into the divorce experiment as opposed to just having begun it, and there are a lot of us divorced children who are hellions about commitment! I think that, and the so-called "Roe effect" among other reasons, are why the anti-war movement is only an echo of what that movement was during the Vietnam war. br> -- Emily B. /p>

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