By Enemy Central on 5.21.04 @ 7:32PM
Taking care of new unfinished business.
It could have been worse for Ahmed Chalabi, recent target of the
most noted raid by uniformed U.S. forces since the kidnapping of
Elian Gonzalez. He could have been on the receiving end of a
dressing down from Nancy Pelosi. But let's be serious for a moment.
Is this the way we now practice conflict resolution -- by hitting
the ally who led us on and then let us down? But what about those
who allowed themselves to be misled? Is losing on November 2 the
only risk they face?
One has to wonder who'll be targeted next. The American
Enterprise Institute? The offices of the Weekly Standard?
The University of Chicago? All three were well-known redoubts of
early Chalabi enthusiasts.
Bush and onetime backers now deemed disloyal could follow the
example of John Kerry and Ralph Nader, who met and smiled at each
other. No one fired any shots, nor did one seize the other's
computers or holy books. They got on so swimmingly that either
could serve as the other's vice-presidential mate. This would leave
Howie Dean the odd man out, true, but then again that's the only
position that ever gave him an in.
Back to Rep. Pelosi: It's solely because she's a woman that
people are overreacting to her recent comments without treating
them with the respect they deserve. Psy-war specialists can't
account for Nurse Nancy's bruised feelings. Perhaps they should
listen to the Arab street, where there is widespread relief that
Nancy was never assigned to Abu Ghraib. It's just that when someone
represents San Francisco, you never can tell.
Nancy joined 47 Catholic Democratic colleagues in penning a
letter to the very busy Cardinal McCarrick demanding that unnamed
bishops get off their case and give them communion even if 45 of
them are actively pro-abortion, in clear violation of every church
law known to God and man. The Congressional 48 then threatened to
foment anti-Catholic violence throughout the land if the unnamed
bishops didn't cave in. Whereupon, in response to their insolence
and provocation, McCarrick promptly caved and agreed to meet with
the 48. Any chance he'll give them the Chalabi treatment?
The famous Cannes film festival was home to American royalty
this week. Michael Moore, fresh from starring as Agent 00000000007
(girth has its requirements), was all set to steal the show when
the official U.S. representative, Ms. Alexandra Kerry, appeared on
the runway, in a modest gown. Her father contends it would make a
lovely first communion dress. Cardinal McCarrick, over to you.
The NBA playoff wars entered their fourth month. The league's
MVP, Kevin Garnett, also leads the league in post- and pre-game
verbal atrocities. When earlier in the month he praised his
opponents with these words, "They were bombing threes like
Hiroshima," there was no fallout. Not so after the drive-by rap he
delivered last Monday, before a final Game 7 showdown. "This is
it," he responded. "It's for all the marbles. I'm sitting in the
house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis, I've got a
couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some
silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I'm
ready for war."
Soon enough he was forced to disarm, everything except the
missile launcher, with which he scored 32 points in leading his
team to victory. "It was one-sided thinking on my part," he said in
his apology. "… I was totally thinking about basketball, not
reality."
But it was reality. Not that long ago, the NBA's commissioner
was Mr. Larry O'Brien, a former member of the Kennedy cabinet.
Fittingly enough, he had been Postmaster General, back in the days
when NBA players mailed it in. But now it's a new era, one that
demands new leadership. Mr. Garnett sounded the right tone. His
league just needs Donald Rumsfeld to run it. Under Big Dog (not to
be confused with Glenn "Big Dawg" Robinson of the 76ers), every
team would think it's on a special mission and none would have to
carry more than a bare minimum of players on its roster. Best of
all, teams would continue to showcase song girls, but Nancy Pelosi
would never be among them. As this week's EOW, she's been declared
ineligible.
topics:
Nancy Pelosi, Abortion, Books, Law
