By Jackie Mason & Raoul Felder on 4.16.04 @ 12:03AM
What a difference eight years make -- as opposed to, say, eight months.
NEW YORK -- Dr. Freud said that there are no such things as
coincidences, and at least on this one thing, we agree with him.
And talking about Freud nobody outside of a lunatic asylum would
believe that it was just a coincidence that Richard Clarke's book
came out the same week that he appeared before the 9/11 Commission.
But before we talk about lunatics -- and worse -- there should be a
word said about anti-terrorism experts in general.
Anti-terrorism experts are as phony as a hooker's smile at three
in the morning. Your brother-in-law, well, maybe not your
brother-in-law, but any reasonably intelligent person could call
himself an anti-terrorism expert. We have not seen any signs in
front of a college that say "Anti-Terrorism University" or any
Internet diplomas being sold to put on your wall that say, "Ph.D.
in Anti-Terrorism," nor will you ever meet a kid that says to you,
"I have to hurry, I 'm late for my class in Anti-Terrorism.
There are, of course, trained professionals who do the field
work. They are the people who learn to listen in and bug the
terrorists' communication systems, who infiltrate their camps and
who man the satellites that track them. But anyone who doesn't have
to lip-read, and who studies all the reports, intercepts, analysis,
recommendations from field people, and reads Soldier of
Fortune magazine or can live with some of the women we know
for six months or more, will qualify as an anti-terrorist
expert.
In fact, Clarke himself earned his degree from MIT in
Management. At the State Department, they appointed him an
intelligence official. However, in 1992 he was forced to leave
because of poor performance after the Inspector General found he
failed to adequately perform in the matter of Israeli exports to
China. He was transferred to the White House and was politically
savvy enough to worm his way into becoming a presidential adviser
on anti-terrorism. The height of his power came during the Clinton
administration when Clinton, too bored or preoccupied inspecting
throngs of overweight and under-aged girls, did not attend the
morning CIA briefing, as does President Bush, and instead, later in
the day received his summary from Clarke. He then had the mornings
to sleep late and the rest of the day to chase girls.
It is no coincidence that it was only after much of Clarke's
staff was taken away from him, along with his fancy office in the
White House and that he did not receive a high position in the
newly-formed Department of Homeland Security, that he quit
government and decided to write a book (which has now earned him $2
million).
Clarke attempted to make one woman the cause of the 9/11
happening and the subsequent world upheaval that followed it. But
Condoleezza Rice's matter-of-fact-by-fact calm presentation was an
effective antidote to Clarke's testimony to the point that he is
now in yesterday's newspaper dustbin. The 600 pound factoid that
the Democrats had to deal with was the reality that Clinton had
been in office eight years and Bush, eight months, when 9/11
occurred and clearly the attacks were long in the planning
stage.
WHEN THE ALLEGEDLY explosive Presidential Briefing memo was
released last Saturday, it caused more of a whimper than a bang. It
was basically historical and non-specific and, indeed, supported
Ms. Rice's testimony and her description of it. If anything, it
pointed out that the situation leading to 9/11 was on-going for
years and that Bin Laden's organization prepared events years in
advance. We also now know that the criminals responsible for the
World Trade Center attack had established residences in the U.S.,
some had legitimate jobs and attended flight school in the U.S. In
some cases, later evidence revealed that they did not even know
their assignments until shortly before 9/11. All of this, of
course, pre-dates Bush's presidency by many months in some cases,
years.
We suggest that it will not tax anybody's attention span to read
the exact text of the briefing that President Bush received. It
becomes obvious that the report contains little more than what a
high school student who read the papers would have known. You do
not have to be Dr. Kissinger to know that Bin Laden had acts of
terrorism on his agenda. Bear in mind that he had already bombed
the World Trade Center in 1993 and bombed our embassies in Kenya
and Tanzania in 1998.
The document speaks about a millennium plot that was thwarted in
Canada in 1999, and an attack that had (past tense) been planned on
the Los Angeles International Airport, and that in 1998, Abu
Zubaydah had planned an attack on the U.S. It pointed out that the
attacks in Kenya and Tanzania demonstrated that bin Laden plans
operations years in advance -- which would bring us into the first
Clinton administration. It indicated that some al-Qaeda members are
U.S. citizens -- in fact, none of the plotters of 9/11 were U.S.
citizens -- and that in 1998 Bin Laden was recruiting
Muslim-American youth. So what else is new?
What seems to be the most damning point for Bush's critics is
the statement that in 1998 bin Laden wanted to hijack a
U.S. aircraft to gain the release of Blind Shaykh Umar Add
al-Ramman and other U.S.-held extremists. What happened instead was
plain and simple suicide. People smashed into buildings, not
seeking the release of any hostage, person, or group of people.
The document then goes on to say that since 1998 these
suspicious activities (it would be suspicious if they were not
suspicious activities) included surveillance of Federal buildings.
The World Trade Center was, of course, not a Federal Building.
After Pearl Harbor there were two dozen commissions and
investigations that sought to fix blame. Blame finally fell on
Admiral Kimmel and General Short, neither of whom, as history has
subsequently proved, bore any true responsibility for what
occurred. The real subject then as now should have been (at least
until President Bush's actions in Iraq): Why does the American
public deny their leaders the political support to act in the face
of a gathering danger, preferring to wait until there
exists no other option but resort to military action in
self-defense after an attack takes place.
The sad part of the 9/11 Commission is that its purpose is
primarily political, in a political year. Certainly neither Bush
nor Clinton wanted 9/11 or anything similar to happen. They both
acted in a way they -- Clinton for 8 years; Bush for 8 months --
believed appropriate based on the information they received.
Neither knowingly ignored any of the warnings we now read about
with the help of the 20/20 vision of hindsight. And, of course, we
never know what policies and safeguards they did, in fact, pursue
that prevented prior or subsequent assaults, although in
Bush's case, in view of the open declaration of war by the
successful bombing of the World Trade Center, it is logical that
there were more subsequent attacks prevented than under
Clinton.
Commissions with their windbag politicians are, to paraphrase
Shakespeare, full of sound and fury, and signify nothing. The
people who perished on 9/11 deserve better.
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Trade, Law, Military, Iraq, Israel