WASHINGTON — John Kerry must have been a very happy man
Thursday afternoon, watching from a Secret Service-secured area as
a couple thousand female college students, scantily clad in their
spring outfits, crowded the outdoor stage at George Washington
University to hear hero-of-the-young Howard Dean officially endorse
him.
The event was billed as a “Unity Day” and came with the tagline
“Change Starts Here.” I assumed this meant Kerry’s campaign would
become at least a tad more interesting, or that maybe he would
experiment with a different stump speech, but, alas, no dice. Kerry
worked the same old lines he’s been belaboring for the last year
and a half.
Still, change was in the air. Now the audience is
required to pass through a metal detector to hear him speak. It’s
almost enough to make you forget that two short months ago Kerry
had to beg people to ride around with him on his bus in New
Hampshire, bribing them with free bowling and chili. Then there are
the new men in black in the crowd, on the roofs, and in the path of
Kerry’s snowboard. And now Kerry can steal Howard Dean’s lines with
a clear conscience.
The image of the campaign is being guarded more closely now that
primary season is over. Kerry volunteers busied themselves
confiscating homemade signs that read “Burn the Bush,” “AIDS is
Real, Bush is Fake,” and “Like Father, Like Son: One Term
President” at the door.
These sharpie-scrawled slogans did not have the same photogenic
qualities as the official Kerry and Dean merchandise. T-shirts,
signs, and long bright red air-filled “Bush Whackers” were handed
out in liberal quantities. People seemed happy enough with the
trade-off. At one point, a group of young men took turns shouting
“You’re Bush!” at one of their friends and then whacking him
silly.
Someone across the way hung a banner out a dorm window with a
big green pot leaf emblazoned on it. “Legalize it. Subsidize it,”
the sign read.
Wild cheers erupted.
AFTER SITTING FOR MORE than an hour in the sun — paranoid,
wondering if the Secret Service agent on the roof was staring at me
— I breathed easier when a GW official finally kicked off the
well-rehearsed spectacle.
He began by insisting that the university doesn’t take sides in
the election and would be happy to host George W. Bush as well. A
round of deafening boos followed, and the official quickly finished
up and hurried off the stage.
Because it was “Unity Day” for young Democrats, too, Ari
Mittleman of Generation Dean and Adam Zwerner of Students for Kerry
were up next. Unity to these two young budding pols meant being as
hideously boring as their heroes. A sample:
“Adam, John Kerry is a true American patriot who fights day in
and day out for the people of our generation,” Mittleman nearly
shouted.
“Ari, you know, Howard Dean really reinvigorated the Democratic
Party,” Kerry’s young flack said.
On cue, Dean bounded on stage, rolled up his sleeves, and dove
in. After admitting that Kerry won fair and square, the former
governor of Vermont quickly worked back to his favorite topic —
himself.
“In the end,” he said, red faced, fist in the air, “it is
Generation Dean voting for John Kerry that is going to send George
Bush back to Crawford, Texas, where he belongs.” Then, Dean, who
spent the Vietnam War as a self-confessed “ski bum,” asked the
crowd who they trusted more with national security: a bunch of guys
who had “never served a day in their lives” or “a guy who served
honorably and has three Purple Hearts?”
Essentially, Dean had just invalidated his own candidacy, but no
one seemed interested in pointing it out. He then grabbed the mike,
and did his best high school cheerleader impression. “KERRY, KERRY,
KERRY!” he shouted, and the crowd joined in.
Dean then introduced “the next president of the United States —
John F. Kerry.” Kerry clearly did not generate the same
level of applause and whooping as Dean did. Sensing which way the
wind was blowing, Kerry took shelter in the groveling he has become
so well known for.
“I was just so wrapped up in what Howard Dean was saying,” Kerry
said, “I almost came up here and said, ‘Howard Dean for
President.’”
It didn’t get any better. Kerry thanked Dean for starting a
“conversation with America.” He then stole the former governor’s
well worn slogan, “You have the power,” and then, pointing at Dean,
asked the crowd, “Who am I quoting?” It was an easy question, but
the students answered it with spunk.
AFTERWARDS I WALKED among the crowd and watched about 40 people
holding Bush/Cheney signs be engulfed by crowds of
obscenity-shouting Kerry supporters. When the Bushies refused to
budge, the crowd flew into a strange verbal rage, acting like
Democratic faithful seized by the spirit of liberalism, speaking in
tongues.
“Bush hates Jews!” “WASPs for Bush!” “Bush is in bed with Bin
Laden!” Some wound out very creative blue streaks. There was no
arguing tax policies with these lunatics.
I asked one very sensible-looking girl watching the proceedings
with a horrified look on her face why she came out.
“It was a good excuse to get out of class,” she said with a
shrug.
So I inquired if she had been following the election.
“I haven’t been really, not until now,” she said. “I mean, I
know we should get rid of Bush. I guess it doesn’t really matter
who does it.”
I noticed a little guy in a Dean shirt staring intently at me,
shifting his weight excitedly from one foot to the other. I asked
him if he was okay with Dean being on the Kerry bandwagon now.
“Who cares?” he replied, and issued a manic little laugh. I
thought about asking a follow-up question, but then took another
look at him, and thought better of it.
