The American Spectator

Reader Mail

Sex and the Silly

2.25.04 @ 12:01AM

A SENSE OF PROPORTION
Re: Reid Collins', Wlady Pleszczynski's What, No Sex?

Whuzzat! You say that Sarah Jessica Parker had a cable television show for the past six years and that it was called Sex in the City. Who knew?

Best Wishes,
-- Sam Keck

Good grief, someone's knickers are in knots. Sex and the City was everything my life is not -- well, almost -- which is why I loved the show. Stop analyzing the fun. I've watched every episode and still can't dream up anything better for confession fodder than "engaging in gossip." For me, Sunday night TV was easy. Malcolm in the Middle? Get lost. The Surreal Life? Get real. Millionaire? As if! Sex in the City? YES! YES! YES!
-- Kitty Myers
Painted Post, New York

I recall, but cannot identify, a conversation between two actors who mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker's tube top as perhaps the smallest garment ever made. If you want to see Mrs. Parker-Broderick acting in a manner consistent with her dubious attributes and talents, you need look no farther than Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! wherein she plays a vacuous television reporter whose head is transplanted onto her Chihuahua's body and she falls in love with Pierce Brosnan's disembodied head.
-- Bob Johnson
Bedford, TX

PLASTICITY
Re: Brian Doherty's Two Bag Ugly:

As a seasoned veteran of the Mall Wars (including the infamous "Glasgow Toys 'R Us" skirmish of '97 -- it was bloody work, but we won the day) I sympathize with Mr. Doherty's plight absolutely.

However, instead of giving Dow Chemicals a fragging for his bagging, as Chief Sapper he should investigate other measures. A biometric bag, for example, that lets him know precisely how much he can carry? Or a psychometric bag, that will tell him to feel good about himself while he's doing it? Or even a barometric bag, that will do these things and tell him when to seek shelter from the rain?

A seasoned Mall Warrior like Mr. Doherty should investigate such dynamic possibilities under his own initiative. We should form a regiment -- "The Fighting Baggers."
-- Martin Kelly
Glasgow
SC0TLAND

Brian Doherty's musing on the plastic bag came just one day after I carefully explained to my 12-year-old daughter that eco-kooks years ago had wrongly deemed the coming of the plastic bottle to be the bane of mankind. It has turned out just the opposite -- of course. Plastic bottles require much less raw material and energy to make and to transport than glass, and they can be incinerated in garbage-to-energy plants (i.e., you can get another use out of them even if you don't recycle them, which enviro-nuts also had deemed impossible).

The reason for each and every eco-rant is this: Enviros are weak, tormented people. It is no surprise that soft-handed journalists and up-at-noon academics are the leaders of the movement. They do not make steel or build houses or mine coal, no, that is for strong, rational people. Ecologists live in a state of perpetual intellectual indignation. They assert themselves as mankind's savior because that is the opposite of what they really are: Unproductive people who tremble at every oil well drilled, every SUV manufactured. Thus they use fear tactics and tell any lie to further their cause. Have you noticed that "global warming" suddenly has turned on a dime after just two cold winters: Now it's a new Ice Age for England and the United States! Bang! Just like that!

I use plastic bags every week. I like them. But Mr. Doherty did let slip yet another tactic of lefty weed-huggers: Ireland is taxing plastic bags. Yes, now we are seeing into the heart of the matter.
-- Steve Nikitas
Pittsfield, Massachusetts

Alas, poor Plastic! I knew him, Horatio: a bag of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! (Hamlet, Act 5, scene 1, with apologies to Mr. Shakespeare.)

How fickle we Americans are! I remember the paper vs. plastic wars of yore. And even today, some merchants will provide either. But the little plastic bag is king. And how versatile. Changing the oil in your car is less of a mess if you slip a used bag over your hand before you start. Infinitely useful at the picnic, bag, ersatz placemat when slit open, useful pack out tool. And useful for crafts. It is not just a bag, but a shimmering piece of modern technology highly underrated and not fully appreciated.

But in Russia the plastic is coveted for it is not given away in the stores so lightly. In Europe, alas, one brings ones own bag or mesh net carryall if one wants to bring home the bacon in many shops. And in much of the third world, if you are lucky to be near a supermarket, you most certainly bring your own tote. So I ask Mr. Doherty, if LePlastic is so wanting the ultimate solution is a pair of canvas totes from L.L. Bean. Infinitely practical for more than just bringing home the groceries and they last for years. Just keep in mind that it will be 30 kilos to the bag filled to the brim.

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Television, Business, Social Security, Global Warming, Constitution, Law, Russia, NATO, Energy, Oil