With two primary victories behind him, we’ve had the opportunity
to fully absorb John Kerry’s incredibly lame acceptance speech. One
needs an iron constitution to endure the part where Kerry awkwardly
begins a sentence, “If I am President …” and then waits for the
crowd of supporters to get the cue and begin spiritedly chanting,
“WHEN! WHEN! WHEN! WHEN!” Kerry then shyly smiles, “recovers” from
the surprise of their spontaneous show of support and says, “I’m
learning. WHEN, I am President …”
But the staging behind the Kerry speeches isn’t what bothers me
the most. What’s really disturbing is the wealthy Bostonian’s vile
rhetoric about “special interests” and “influence peddlers.” Who
exactly is he referring to? The good folks at NARAL who have
managed to abort the confirmation of any judge to the right of
Wesley Clark on infanticide? No, no. We eventually learn he is
referring to the much less frightening “drug companies,” “HMO’s”
and “big oil.” In other words, private sector business is messing
up your life by manipulating the government.
Kerry’s theme doesn’t play very well in the ears of anyone with
lobbying experience. There are two major reasons corporations get
involved in politics. Both are created by the kind of big
government vision driving John Kerry Heinz and his fellow
Democrats.
Reason number one: Paying protection money. Most businesses
simply hope to run their affairs according to profit and loss
instead of wasting valuable resources dealing with the vast
detritus of the regulatory state. Accordingly, they contribute to
campaign coffers with the hopes that they won’t be screwed too
royally when Congress meets again. The dynamic is very similar to
the little shopkeeper who pays the Mafia not to smash up his
merchandise. If you think the shopkeeper is an influence peddler in
that situation, then yank a molar and put it under the pillow,
buddy. The Tooth Fairy’s on her way.
But just like in the movies, the local merchants get fed up and
decide to enlist somebody to get them out of their abusive
relationship with their “protectors.” That’s how Republicans get
elected. Kerry likes to warn corporate interests, “We’re coming.
You’re going. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.” The
punchy (but cliché) slogan is actually a better description
of what beleaguered businesspersons said to the Democrats in 1994
and have since repeated throughout the last decade.
Another version of this sad story is playing itself out between
trial lawyers and their victims, you know, doctors. Trial lawyers
like John Edwards leverage government power to confiscate huge
judgments from doctors and insurance companies to make themselves
stupendously wealthy. (We should thank Edwards for showing us where
the real money is. Forget about nationalizing the health care
system, let’s nationalize the practice of law!) But doctors have
wised up and have started “influence peddling” just like our poor
shopkeeper. Witness the tort reform in Texas. John Edwards may have
gotten out of legal practice at just the right time.
Reason number two for corporate involvement in government:
Trying to take the ladder up behind you once you reach the top.
It’s true that some of the worldwide corporate players do more than
pay protection money to big government tormentors. Occasionally, it
occurs to smart men and women at Titanic Inc. that they can obtain
passage of regulations that will actually make life more difficult
for new competitors seeking market share. It’s times like these
when the famed cozy triangles of corporations, bureaucracy, and
committee chairs start hitting on all cylinders. There’s lots of
influence being peddled, but it isn’t of the kind
conservative-libertarians would savor. It’s pure regulatory state
evil, just the kind of stuff that will grow rather than shrink in a
future (shudder) Kerry regime. Remember, it was Republican Steve
Forbes who would have really closed loopholes by flattening and
simplifying the tax system.
The lesson here is simple. Big government creates the problem
when it extorts money from private sector business and when it
tempts big businesses to circumvent the free market by invoking its
coercive power. Kerry’s stronger regulatory state will simply
multiply the existence of the hated influence peddlers he says
he’ll kick to the curb.
