The American Spectator

I caught up with John Edwards last week at his campaign office in downtown Nashua, where I heard a preview of the “major speech” he was set make the next day.

“Today under George W. Bush, there are two Americas, not one,” Edwards said, while I stood dumbfounded wondering how in the world he could pass this off as something newsworthy when it was essentially the same stump speech he’s been giving for the past year. “One America does the work, while another America reaps the reward.”

I had come to the Edwards office because the senator was supposedly heading out to canvas door to door. Having done some campaign work in Nashua myself, I thought watching a sitting Senator get cussed out by working class locals and chased by dogs would make pretty good copy. But it was not to be.

“How many houses are you going to hit?” I asked an Edwards staffer.

“Four,” he said. In the commotion of the packed office, I thought he said 400. I was impressed. That would be a decent workday for the average no-pay volunteer. Maybe this guy was the candidate of the people, despite his multi-million dollar bank account.

“Wow,” I said. “Four hundred houses!”

“Nope,” the staffer answered. “Four. They’re right around the corner. Don’t worry, you won’t have to walk far.”

“Four?” I repeated, disappointed. “These four houses wouldn’t be homes of people who already support your candidate, would they?”

“Probably,” he said. “We’re not sending him out on cold calls.”

Fair enough. But I wasn’t going to be the schmuck who followed Edwards around in the freezing rain to watch him confirm that his supporters support him. That was even more boring than his new old speech. Hell, I had been excited enough about the prospect of seeing a major candidate canvas that I would have maced a couple charging dogs for him or even broken out some choice cuts from my collection of obscene phrases to defend him against some, um, “flinty” New Hampshirites.

It’s a small disappointment in the scheme of things, much like going to a movie billed as a comedy that turns out to be a drama. Edwards had the chance to impress, but instead he decided to bore. Poor choice for someone behind in the polls.