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Long pause for effect.

"Now, we're seeing results. We're increasing our paid staff out here in California from 1 to 2!"

Another round of muted -- very muted -- cheers erupted.

More questions filtered through Dean's staffer. Dean rattled off a series of low-energy responses that further dampened the crowd's enthusiasm. He was against Bush's tax cuts, for basic services, in favor of healthcare and education, and pro solidarity with the downtrodden black and Latino voters, noticeably absent from Vermont. In fact, he even worked at a hospital in the South Bronx.

For the final question, some joker from Berkeley asked what Dean would do for the environment. His answer was convoluted. It involved a recitation of his land development initiative in Vermont, and some general affirmations that he was "pro-environment." As if that was ever in doubt.

Then, without so much as touching on the situation in Iraq, Dean bid his adieu, citing a dinner obligation due to begin in a matter of minutes, and the line went dead.

We emerged from the house rather confused. Party guests loitered in the driveway in huddled groups, offering up disparate takes on the event. Dusk was upon us as we trudged off to catch buses headed in different directions.

I suppose one could have taken issue with the candidate's answers on the grounds that they were vaguely uninspiring and delivered in an offhand, frankly sub-presidential manner, or that his handlers neglected to select questions of real importance, but I was not particularly concerned with the content of Dean's talk. Twenty minutes by speakerphone isn't a good gauge of anyone's abilities.

And yet. Dean's utter failure to get the party started right was troubling. A boozy political rally is the place to kick out the jams, not go wobbly. I left feeling uninspired, with no more information about the Dems' best hope than I had going in. I handed my dollar to the bus driver and settled into a seat and pondered the year to come.

It will be a long, curious primary. Maybe, in the next few months, the word of mouth on Dean will compel a demographic more significant than a semi-sizable sub-section of young and affluent white people to hit the polls in his favor. Until then, people like me will make heated arguments over pints at the yuppie bars, voice earnest predications over the water cooler at work, and keep reading those irresistible Salon profiles on our lunch breaks in the hope that he'll make it far enough to finally appear with Tony Snow on Fox News Sunday, right after Nascar winds up.

topics:
Education, Environment, Law, Iraq, Energy