To be honest, we never cared much for the French, nor as they
have made it very clear, did they care much for us, although if it
wasn’t for America they would be singing the Horst Wesel song at
the Folies Bergère and Wiener Schnitzel would be the
specialty of the local McDonald’s. There are some Americans,
particularly the female kind, that will jump on anything with a
French name. Did anybody ever hear a woman brag to her friends that
she was wearing a genuine Finklestein? But take the same rag and
put a label on it that says “Chanel” and for the girls at the Mah
Jong club, it would be the nearest thing to a weekend at a Holiday
Inn with Julio Iglesias. Seltzer, what we used to ask for as “two
cents plain” in New York luncheonettes, is after all just
carbonated water. Franconise it, and it becomes “Evian” and it
costs a dollar a bottle. Anyone who has mingled with Parisian
crowds during the summer will understand that necessity is the
mother of invention, particularly in the case of the French
discovery of perfume. We mention all of this so that it will be
clear that we would sooner go to a square dance, or worse yet, a
Karaoke bar, than admit that the French have developed a good idea
and made it part of what is left of their culture. It is a concept
— although it eats our hearts out to admit it — simple, powerful
and enduring enough for us to follow.
America now finds itself in a historically unique position. We
are the world’s richest, and militarily mightiest, nation. We are
also the most envied and probably most hated nation, with some
considering us a threat to themselves. We represent the supremacy
of democratic ways and modernity over old and autocratic cultures.
If we befriend a state, we are instantly considered an enemy of
that state’s enemy. If an unjust and evil force becomes empowered,
for all intents and purposes, we are the only state that has the
power to right an oppressive wrong by ourselves. Even when these
responsibilities do not require the actual dispatching of troops to
bring the fight to those who would do us harm, in order to maintain
our credibility, the rest of the world, friend and foe, and even
those who periodically switch these roles must clearly understand
that we have the necessary capability, and are poised to strike,
ready and waiting for the appropriate political decision.
Things that will do us harm are usually a long time brewing. A
political butterfly flaps its wings in some far away place, and
over time and distance brings a hurricane to us. Our modern
political landscape, stretching from Pearl Harbor to the Twin
Towers, is littered with the debris that has resulted from the
American mind-set against preventive war. It would require
extraordinary popular support for an administration to pry our
young men loose from Saturday night at the bowling alley, clean
sheets, the sports pages, chilled Heinekens and Monday Night
Football, in order to fight other young men who pose no discernible
threat to us, in some Godforsaken place they never knew existed,
let alone whose name they could even pronounce. The ghost of
Vietnam haunts the American psyche. Once a military venture has
begun, as time passes it becomes geometrically more difficult to
sustain support at home if it becomes attenuated or if the results
are ambiguous. Mothers resist their sons being led off to be killed
if there is no apparent threat to this country.
In the 19th century the French suffered severe losses through
both disease and combat in Algiers and various parts of Africa.
Already demoralized French forces were forced to undergo living
conditions that were described as “nearly unbearable,” and there
was an increasing lack of support from the general population. A
solution was at hand.
On March 10, 1831, King Louis Philippe signed a Royal Ordinance
creating the French Foreign Legion. The Legion, composed of
volunteers from the dregs of the planet — although today it is
claimed that only minor criminals are allowed to join —
consists of 60% foreigners led by French officers. Although one
might question that it is hard to reconcile their motto, to “serve
with honor and fidelity,” with such a bunch, the fact is that they
have fought with distinction in Indochina, Tonkin, the Crimea,
Morocco, Madagascar, North Africa, Zaire, Kuwait, Dahomey, Chad,
Mexico and Bosnia.
The Legion offers the flotsam and jetsam of the world the
opportunity to start over, with a new name and a new identity. It
is a hard life (although corporal punishment is only dispensed in
isolated cases), membership is basically equivalent to a
five-year prison sentence. Nevertheless, there is no manpower
shortage. Each year the Legion accepts 1,500 new members out of
approximately 100,000 applicants.
It would seem that an American Foreign Legion makes perfect
sense any way in which it is viewed. We would still, of course, in
a time of conflict, immediately utilize our Air Force and Navy. But
for boots on the ground — the place where the waiting body bags
are waiting to be filled — it would be our Foreign Legion that
would be sent in. This does not mean that we would still not
maintain our highly mobile, technically superb army. It does mean
that more of these young men and women would finish their tours of
duty and come home under their own power.
