8.26.03 @ 12:03AM
A touching story as only an encounter with the Poor Clares could inspire.
Stalking the Divine: Contemplating Faith With the Poor
Clares (Theia, 272 pages. $23.95) is the latest in that dreary
genre of books written by self-absorbed Baby Boomers wanting to
fill us in on mid-life crisis they're suffering. After decades of
turning their backs on the things their Eisenhower-era parents held
dear, many boomers have begun to turn back to those old
institutions in a frantic attempt to achieve some inner
fulfillment. It's not surprising to see the generation that
believes it discovered sex now now deluding itself to think it's
the first to suffer a crisis of faith in its autumn years.
Kristin Ohlson manages to transcend the typical examples of the
genre with a touching story of her search for faith. A
self-described former "radical communist atheist" who spent part of
the 1960s agitating on behalf of a Maoist group, Ohlson began life
as a Catholic who one day dreamed of being a nun. She gradually
drifted away from the church, however, and it wasn't until a lonely
Christmas morning in 1998 that she felt the need to attend mass
again. In one of those events that will have Christians smiling,
Ohlson picks at random Cleveland's St. Paul Shrine to attend.
It is there that a parallel story begins. St. Paul's Shrine
happens to be the home of a cloistered order of nuns called the
Poor Clares. Their mission is to literally pray for the world 24
hours a day, seven days a week. As she comes to learn, the ranks of
these Poor Clares have steadily dwindled over the decades but the
nuns, who have little contact with the outside world, continue
their mission armed with a faith in God that Ohlson finds difficult
to comprehend. Yet despite her own lack of faith she is filled with
gratitude that these nuns watch over Cleveland and the world and
attempt to protect us with a web of prayers.
After some initial resistance the nuns agree to talk to Ohlson,
which initially leads to a newspaper story that draws attention to
the near forgotten group. Gradually they allow Ohlson a more
expansive view inside their sheltered world, one that she quickly
finds demands an incredible reservoir of faith to commit to. It
demands an adherence to a lifestyle that both rejects the outside
world and its temptations in favor of a relationship only with
Jesus Christ and yet their mission is to care for the world through
prayer. It's a supremely rigorous life that few people, including
Ohlson, can fully understand but she admires them nonetheless.
"So why do I now find this devotion admirable rather than
stupid? I guess I'm tired of a world with so little faith. I'm
tired of marriages that fall apart because people won't persevere
through the dry, dull, miserable periods; I'm tired of people who
have given up on making the world better; I'm tired of people who
cynically deconstruct everything for their own amusement -- and
I've been all these people. These nuns fell in love with God,
married him after a long, careful courtship, and have stuck with
him year after year."
Ohlson's education about the nuns takes place as she begins to
nurture her own faith. She ultimately admits that she doesn't
understand the Poor Clares because she doesn't, and likely even
can't, share the same level of faith in a higher power that they
do. At times she seems more interested in arguing against some of
the positions of the Catholic Church, such as its stand against
abortion. A committed Catholic might say that she isn't humble
enough, that she seems more interested in debating theology and
history than she is in submitting to God. Yet, as Ohlson's journey
attests, she seems committed to making the journey to becoming a
believer.
"For me, it takes a combination of things to reach the belief
side of the chasm, where I cling from time to time with gnawed and
ragged fingernails. One is certainly pattern: the pattern of
visiting the nuns, the pattern of weekly mass, and the pattern of
prayer when I manage to stick with one. Retreat, which I learned
from the nuns: pulling away from the world to enter a cool interior
cave that feels very much like the nuns' own shadowed, silent
hallways. And then, finally, the tiniest of convictions that God is
like a fire burning in the darkness, whether I'm aware of it or
not. Faith keeps me turning to that fire over and over ... for
refreshment, for solace, for strength, for the thrilling surprise
of its presence. During these moments of belief, there is simply
more of life -- it's as if the laws of physics have changed and my
capacity for presence has expanded."
Stalking the Divine is a compelling exploration of one
person's spiritual journey juxtaposed with the almost inhuman
devotion displayed by the Poor Clares. Stalking God, the effort to
find and place faith in the context of a person's life, is no
simple matter regardless of who is questing. The journey, like any
journey of personal discovery, is far from a straight road and
there's never a promise of an answer at the end. Ohlson rises above
the ghetto of the well-populated mid-life crisis genre with a
beautiful and deeply personal story of a search for answers.
topics:
Education, Abortion, Books, Law
