By Ben Stein on 8.15.03 @ 12:17AM
Why not a Constitutional amendment guaranteeing everyone the right to be rich?
I have seen the future and it comes from Al Sharpton and it is a
beautiful thing.
The other night I was watching a debate among all of the
Democrat candidates for President, and thinking what a bunch of
whining babies and petulant self-promoters Democrat politicians are
when suddenly the Reverend Al broke through like a thunderclap.
The candidates were talking about health care, and naturally
blaming all of the problems on the gouging drug companies that save
everyone's lives but are somehow evil anyway, and the rest of the
fault was corporate greed, and then a big dollop was Bush's fault
just for being Bush. But there was some genuine disagreement about
how to pay for universal perfect health care like they have in all
of those countries whose wealthy people come to America for our
terrible health care. Then Reverend Al (as noted) spoke up like a
Daniel come to Judgement.
The way to solve the problem, he said, was to amend the
Constitution to make excellent health care a Constitutional right!
Then, anyone who did not get perfect health care could sue anyone
he wanted and get redress under the Constitution.
It was brilliant, but it is far too small an idea. Why not a
Constitutional amendment guaranteeing everyone the right to be
rich? Then, if you are not rich, you can sue the people who are
rich, who obviously violated your rights by getting rich when you
did not get rich? Why not?
And what about a Constitutional right to be good looking? That
way, people who are homely could sue the big corporations and the
fascists who made them not good looking. After all, it's a
Constitutional right. Joined with Rev. Al's idea, all Americans
would have an entitlement to plastic surgery if they could convince
a judge that their right to be beautiful had been violated.
And what about a Constitutional right to be thin? And how about
an amendment guaranteeing happiness?
Once you start thinking of the Constitution not as a way to
protect citizens in their liberties, but as a set of entitlements
anything goes. (And hey, now that the Constitution has been "found"
to have a "right" to have gay sex, why not a right to be rich, and
to be good looking too?) I am sure if the justices look hard
enough, they may find those entitlements are already there even
without those pesky amendments.
The Constitution as Christmas Tree, laden with gifts. Reverend
Al, prepare to move to the White House. You have imagined the
perfect Constitution for our whiny, entitled, adolescent age. You
deserve the highest office in the land at least. And don't worry
about paying for it. You'll amend the Constitution to make promises
into money. Hey, maybe they already are.....
topics:
Health Care, Entitlements, Constitution
