Once upon a time in the mid-seventies, when I was just a
middle-schooler, I had a CB radio. Strictly speaking it belonged to
my parents, but it was my idea to buy it and install it in our
Chevy Impala, and I was practically the only one in the family who
ever went on the air. (My handle, for the record, was “Rocky
Road.”)
In our age of mobile phones and PDAs, it’s hard to recall what a
thrill it was to sit in a moving car and communicate with total
strangers, usually on the slenderest of pretexts and in what my
guide book assured me was authentic truckers’ lingo:
Breaker one-nine for information. What’s the ten-twenty of a
good choke-and-puke near Saratoga?
It was harmless fun, making long car trips less monotonous for
everyone, and sometimes yielding useful directions — the GPS of
its day.
Late one summer evening, riding home at the end of vacation with
my dad behind the wheel and the rest of the family asleep, I was
chatting with an unusually friendly trucker when it became clear
that the man had mistaken my still-unbroken, pre-pubescent voice
for that of a “beaver.” I thought this was pretty funny, and
started doing my best to imitate a flirtatious young woman. My
interlocutor had just suggested a rest stop where we could meet
when my father reached over and switched off the radio.
No doubt the parents of
Shevaun Pennington, the 12-year-old English schoolgirl who
turned up on Wednesday after running off to Paris with a
31-year-old man, now wish they had done likewise. Shevaun first
“met” her traveling companion, a former U.S. Marine and decorated
Afghanistan veteran, in an Internet chat room. (Toby Studabaker’s
family has said that he believed the girl was at least 18 years
old.)
While she was still missing, Shevaun’s father told the press
that his daughter had regularly spent five or six hours a day
chatting on the computer in the family’s kitchen. Confident that
she was communicating with other kids, her parents merely
admonished her not to reveal her name, age or address.
Never mind the idiocy of letting a 12-year-old spend six hours a
day on a computer, no matter what the reason. After school and
sleep, that hardly leaves time for a proper meal, let alone
homework. Far more urgently, this case shows the madness of letting
children go anywhere near the Internet except with the strictest
parental supervision.
Whatever happened to “don’t talk to strangers”? I don’t think my
parents told me anything more often. And this was in a more
innocent time, or at least a more naive one. Parents today,
especially in the U.S., have never been more anxious about their
children’s contact with teachers, clergy and other adults in their
own communities. Why on earth do they let them communicate in
private with people whose identities are a secret? Not to speak of
exposing them to an endless stream of explicit pornography.
Forget about kids-only sites. If you were an aspiring child
molester, isn’t that the first place you would go? Forget about
filters, too. Kids are a thousand times swifter than we are at this
sort of thing. Count on a bright eight-year-old to hack his way
around any system his parents are savvy enough to set up.
The most obvious solution is the one no busy mother or father
wants to hear: monitoring all of a young user’s online activity, at
least into adolescence. But who could possibly manage that? I know
I couldn’t. In effect, such a policy would mean keeping kids away
from the Internet altogether — which would be fine with me. What,
after all, is the rush? My aunt learned to e-mail and surf the Web
when she was in her seventies. Even in the information age,
teenagers are hardly over the hill.
Of course that won’t work either. Even if you lock up the
computer, or keep it out of the house entirely, kids will log on at
schools, public libraries, Internet cafes and the houses of others.
So what’s the alternative? However hopeless it seems, the best I
can think of is to take up the time-honored refrain: “don’t talk to
strangers, don’t talk to strangers, don’t talk to strangers
…”