If America is supposedly acknowledged to be the most civilized
and advanced society in the world, why is it that the nine people
running for the Democratic nomination for president sound like the
least intelligent people in the world?
The sight of these nine will not only make you laugh but cry. We
don’t mean cry for your country, because this country has survived
even more pathetic candidates. What strikes us is the sadness of
their suffering desperation as they sweat through their pointless
diatribes pleading for help. They look like a group of loveless
children in a Third World country.
They all decided to run for president for the same reason — to
save America from George Bush. The only problem is that they cannot
make up their minds about what is wrong with George Bush. In other
words, they are not sure what the disease is, and even if they
were, they’d have no idea what the cure should be. Each one
campaigns as if he is the only one with the special formula to save
the country. But who is stupid enough to believe that this country
will not survive unless one of them else is president? Do any of
these candidates really believe that if he died tomorrow it would
translate into the death of our country?
The fact is, the first job of a presidential candidate is to
dramatize the reason for his candidacy. He therefore, has to
magnify the problems facing us so that we have to turn to him for
help before we are all drowned, starved, debilitated, or destroyed.
That is why the Democratic candidates are secretly celebrating our
current troubles with the economy. Unfortunately, our economy does
not seem to them bad enough to get a Democrat elected. So instead
they’ve boxed themselves into a corner by dramatizing a problem for
which they have no clue of finding a solution. They are screaming
in the wilderness while accomplishing nothing. Like a fighter who
keeps throwing punches, missing his opponent, and only succeeding
in knocking himself out.
If they were in a school and were given a project of “How Not to
Campaign for Public Office,” they’d be graduating right now with
highest honors.
Somehow, the Democrats cannot understand how the cumulative
effect of their constant attacks on George Bush has only succeeded
in lowering their own popularity. They have moved from the roof of
the building to the basement in the polls since they decided that
President Bush is really an accidental president, whose only job is
to wait to be thrown out of office. Every time they compete with
him, he succeeds, yet they cannot believe that he actually knows
what he is doing. They convince themselves that they are brilliant
and the only reason they keep losing is that he is a dummy who just
happened to get lucky again.
This is not the first time the Democrats made such a ridiculous
mistake in their estimate of their opponent. They did the same
thing with Ronald Reagan. They were just as irrational in their
assessment of his intelligence as they are now in their estimation
of George Bush’s I.Q. However, this “dummy” has the same deceptive
craftiness that derailed and dismissed the Democrats two decades
ago. Since the Democrats relish the pleasure of looking down at
George Bush, they never take the true measure of what they are up
against. That is why they are so wantonly reckless in their attacks
on him, like a mob of floundering zealots who are hitting
everything except the target. As with Ronald Reagan, they have
decided he is the wrong man for the job. No matter how irrational,
absurd or even ridiculous their attacks, they think the people
disrespect Bush as much as they do and so will buy their act. Fat
chance.
Their wildly incoherent attacks about the war on Iraq provides
one example after another wacko condition. When Bush’s poll numbers
went down somewhat, they collectively claimed that this war against
Iraq was inexcusable and unthinkable. But when just before the war
started Bush’s poll numbers went up, it was amazing how the
Democrats suddenly found it only slightly inexcusable but almost
acceptable. After the war was won, and Bush’s poll numbers shot up
to the sky, they suddenly found that the war had been not only a
good idea but inevitable and unavoidable, and indeed insisted it
would have been inexcusable to allow ourselves to avoid the
responsibility that we owe to the people of Iraq to protect them
from the most vicious dictator of our time.
If they had any respect for President Bush or the American
people they would never have made such a serious series of
condescendingly stupid statements and expected to be taken
seriously.
Jackie Mason is a comedian. Raoul Felder is an
attorney.
