The American Spectator

Washington Prowler

(Page 4 of 5)

Those who don't keep up with inside Washington may not know about the odd power dynamic that exists between Jordan and Collins. Before returning to active duty as a player two seasons ago, Jordan had joined the Washington franchise as part owner and front office boss, responsible for all the team's hirings and firings. He's the one who brought Collins in as coach. Then he decided to play for the coach he'd hired. Now who do you think remains the top man in that setup? For all intents, Jordan became the Wizards player-coach and team president, and thoughout this last season would pronounce on the Wizards' problems and play as if the players answered only to him. Collins the entire time kept his tongue firmly bit, dutifully filling the role of ballboy and assistant coach.

But no more. Powerless to challenge Jordan, he complained about receiving "no respect" from the other Wizards, promising them they'll rue Jordan's departure. Jordan, in turn, elaborated on Collins' comments, noting that "Doug felt very disrespected," a point he repeated. But note he never said whether he agrees with Collins -- nor whether the disrespect began with him. It's enough to observe that both men used fighting words. Once again, the Wizards failed to make the NBA playoffs, but at least they've assured themselves a lively post-season.

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p> Losing It (posted 4/15/03 1:47 a.m.) br> Among professional golf's many virtues is that its practitioners hardly ever display bad sportsmanship. Win or lose, the players remain gentlemen, knowing ultimately that each competes essentially against himself. Sure, Tiger Woods sometimes seems ready to drive a club into the netherworld, but at least its his club, never his playing partner's, and no doubt he later will apologizes to him for any outburst. It's funny, in any case, how the golfing demeanor doesn't seem to rub off on everyone who covers the game. /p>

Take the duffers at the New York Times, who invested a great deal of prestige in the Martha Burk protest fiasco. So how did the Times headline its final story on Burk? "She Did Not Prevail This Year, But Burk Has Time on Her Side." The Times appears to be saying it's in this for the long haul. Who needs a long war on terrorism so long as Hootie Johnson is still standing?

Of course, the Times remains a sore loser on a more important front. On Monday its petulance was in rare form. The paper's featured op-ed was by the distinguished historian John Lukacs, who in a rather inane piece complained about the habit of recent presidents to offer "senseless" salutes when stepping off Air Force One. Reagan was the first to go with this "puerile" gesture, and now Bush has taken it even further. "The exaggerated vesting of the president with his supreme role as commander in chief is a new element in our national history," Lukacs writes. In fact, it reminds him of ancient Rome's shift from republic to empire. Roman emperors became increasingly dependent on their military. "Will our future presidents? Let us doubt it. And yet ..." he concludes.

Music to the Times's ears, and not the first time from Lukacs, a nominal conservative who made his mark in the Reagan years as a leading scoffer at the Gipper for liberal print consumption.

Still, it was interesting to see the Times go with the Rome/U.S. analogy. Just last week the paper offered a more barbaric standard, publishing a letter from a reader who compared the U.S. conquest of Baghdad to the Visigoths' sacking of Rome. Saddam's friends must hope he remained alive long enough to catch that flattering comparison.

It seemed no accident, meanwhile, to see the Times arts page give big splash treatment to "The Madness of George Dubya," the genuinely puerile satire that's been tormenting Londoners these last months. The Times' timing is curious. The ostensible hook for the story is this: "Now that ["Madness"] has move from the fringe into London's mainstream West End for a four week run at the Arts Theater..." But that run is "due to end on May 3," the preceding sentence concludes. So, in other words, it's already into week two of its run. The war apparently gave the story no legs before the West End showings began. But now that the war is over, apparently it's safe to pick up were they left off. Note too that like Michael Moore its makers are threatening to bring the play to the U.S.

What woeful opposition these people provide. The best the Times can come up with is to compare "Madness" to "Dr. Strangelove," the most overrated and unfunny film of its kind. (The one good thing about "Dr. Strangelove" is that it inspired a contemporaneous moniker "Dr. Strangeglove" for Dick Stuart, a Pittsburgh Pirates' first-baseman who couldn't field.) Smug sanctimony drives out wit every time.

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Satire, Sports, Catholicism, Abortion, Military, Iraq