The American Spectator

Editor's Desk

We conclude our charitable work on behalf of the untitled Senator from New York state and former first person of the United States.

DECONSTRUCTING HILLARY
Re: Harry Pike's recommended title, "You'll Have to Ask My Husband About That," in last Wednesday's To Hillary With Love:

I'm certain that not all of your readers know enough Texas politics to get that one.

In the 20's, the top dog in Texas politics was a rather corrupt governor, "Pa" Ferguson. When things got too hot, he didn't run for reelection -- his wife ran and was elected. All knew he was still in charge. The fun continued, and a pardon scandal soon ensued. The situation was summed up by the following three-liner:

Man walking down the street bumps into the governor.
"Pardon me, madam."
"You'll have to ask my husband about that."

All-in-all, a most appropriate title.
-- Nathan Zook

LIFE'S UNFAIR
How could you do this to me? The one day I am ill and don't go near my computer, you have the contest to title Hillary's book!

Here I sit reading all the great titles, all so wonderfully nasty, and I can't think of even a close one now. Boy, are you feeling my pain yet? You better!

Whatever the title used and I really have no hope it will be one of yours, the book will be filled with humongous Hillary lies, and should be a treat to read. The right wing better look out because she might get a little nasty! A little nasty! You evil conservatives, how could you hurt such a sweet young thing?

Keep at it!
-- Carole Graham

THEY'RE ALL WINNERS
I know it's too late but how about "It Takes a Hamlet"?
-- Paul Windels

A bit long, but here goes: "Memoirs of Hillary: Loving Wife, Cattle Rancher, Defender of Children, Feminist Achiever, Blonde."
-- Benjamin Zycher

"Me, Myself, And I"
-- James Crosslin

With apologies to Heinz Guderian, but an appropriate warning for us, I suggest: "Achtung -- Hillary!"
-- P.R. Hacker (suffering NYker)

As a sequel to her breathtaking work in "It Takes A Village" (did anybody actually read that waste of a perfectly good spotted owl condo?), I'm sure her adoring fans would go absolutely gaga over... "It Takes Eight Million"
-- Mike Leland
Belmont, CA

What book? How do you define "book"?
-- William Ghiglieri

"The Reader's Digest Edition of 900 FBI Files"
-- Chuck Schneider
Vienna, Austria

How about "The Village Needs Health Care"?
-- Jeff Potter

"A Vast Writing Conspiracy"
-- Will Middelaer

"My Page in History"
-- Craig Good

One word -- "hitLIARy" -- says it.
all.
-- unsigned

"Anything for Billy" or "Up from Knavery"
-- Roger Glass

"How I Succeeded in Politics Without Really Deserving"
-- Warren Mowry

I hope these suggestions aren't too late...

1. "Once Upon a Time in the White House"
2. "I, Hillary"
-- Barry Branch
Florida International University
Miami, FL

Can I submit, "Doctor Virago," as my suggestion for Senator Termagant's new tome!
-- Edward Del Colle

Sorry to take the obvious shot, but it was there: "The Vagina Ideologues"
-- Stephen "Doc" Watson

"The Vastness of My Rightness"
"Why I Loved Che Guevara"
"Mirror Mirror In My Limo....."
-- Andrew Forsyth

1. "I Me Mine" (apologies to George Harrison)
2. "Frankly, Dear -- An Economic Contract On America"
3. "101 Uses for a Dead Health Care Plan"
4. "It's All About Me"
-- Thomas Luedeke
West Lafayette, IN

"A Taste of Money"
"Polling for Concubines" (with no apologies to Michael Moore)
-- Mary Grace Yonts

"Mein Kampf, Book II"
-- Michael R. Morris
Gunnery Sergeant
U.S. Marine Corps (retired)

"Once Upon a Time in Amerika"
"To Have and Have"
"Babbitch"
"Romeo and Everybody"
-- James Keay

"Don't Bother Me, I'm Running"
-- Kimball Brown

"Ma Vie en Rose Law Firm"
-- Patrick Wright
Gaithersburg, MD

"Devil With the Blue Dress On"
-- John Nelson, CT

"The Red States Are Next"
-- Walt Young
Melbourne, FL

topics:
Health Care, Law, NATO