The American Spectator

Editor's Desk

To Hillary With Love, Part Deux

4.11.03 @ 12:03AM

We conclude our charitable work on behalf of the untitled Senator from New York state and former first person of the United States.

DECONSTRUCTING HILLARY
Re: Harry Pike's recommended title, "You'll Have to Ask My Husband About That," in last Wednesday's To Hillary With Love:

I'm certain that not all of your readers know enough Texas politics to get that one.

In the 20's, the top dog in Texas politics was a rather corrupt governor, "Pa" Ferguson. When things got too hot, he didn't run for reelection -- his wife ran and was elected. All knew he was still in charge. The fun continued, and a pardon scandal soon ensued. The situation was summed up by the following three-liner:

Man walking down the street bumps into the governor.
"Pardon me, madam."
"You'll have to ask my husband about that."

All-in-all, a most appropriate title.
-- Nathan Zook

LIFE'S UNFAIR
How could you do this to me? The one day I am ill and don't go near my computer, you have the contest to title Hillary's book!

Here I sit reading all the great titles, all so wonderfully nasty, and I can't think of even a close one now. Boy, are you feeling my pain yet? You better!

Whatever the title used and I really have no hope it will be one of yours, the book will be filled with humongous Hillary lies, and should be a treat to read. The right wing better look out because she might get a little nasty! A little nasty! You evil conservatives, how could you hurt such a sweet young thing?

Keep at it!
-- Carole Graham

THEY'RE ALL WINNERS
I know it's too late but how about "It Takes a Hamlet"?
-- Paul Windels

A bit long, but here goes: "Memoirs of Hillary: Loving Wife, Cattle Rancher, Defender of Children, Feminist Achiever, Blonde."
-- Benjamin Zycher

"Me, Myself, And I"
-- James Crosslin

With apologies to Heinz Guderian, but an appropriate warning for us, I suggest: "Achtung -- Hillary!"
-- P.R. Hacker (suffering NYker)

As a sequel to her breathtaking work in "It Takes A Village" (did anybody actually read that waste of a perfectly good spotted owl condo?), I'm sure her adoring fans would go absolutely gaga over... "It Takes Eight Million"
-- Mike Leland
Belmont, CA

What book? How do you define "book"?
-- William Ghiglieri

"The Reader's Digest Edition of 900 FBI Files"
-- Chuck Schneider
Vienna, Austria

How about "The Village Needs Health Care"?
-- Jeff Potter

"A Vast Writing Conspiracy"
-- Will Middelaer

"My Page in History"
-- Craig Good

One word -- "hitLIARy" -- says it.
all.
-- unsigned

"Anything for Billy" or "Up from Knavery"
-- Roger Glass

"How I Succeeded in Politics Without Really Deserving"
-- Warren Mowry

I hope these suggestions aren't too late...

1. "Once Upon a Time in the White House"
2. "I, Hillary"
-- Barry Branch
Florida International University
Miami, FL

Can I submit, "Doctor Virago," as my suggestion for Senator Termagant's new tome!
-- Edward Del Colle

Sorry to take the obvious shot, but it was there: "The Vagina Ideologues"
-- Stephen "Doc" Watson

"The Vastness of My Rightness"
"Why I Loved Che Guevara"
"Mirror Mirror In My Limo....."
-- Andrew Forsyth

1. "I Me Mine" (apologies to George Harrison)
2. "Frankly, Dear -- An Economic Contract On America"
3. "101 Uses for a Dead Health Care Plan"
4. "It's All About Me"
-- Thomas Luedeke
West Lafayette, IN

"A Taste of Money"
"Polling for Concubines" (with no apologies to Michael Moore)
-- Mary Grace Yonts

"Mein Kampf, Book II"
-- Michael R. Morris
Gunnery Sergeant
U.S. Marine Corps (retired)

"Once Upon a Time in Amerika"
"To Have and Have"
"Babbitch"
"Romeo and Everybody"
-- James Keay

"Don't Bother Me, I'm Running"
-- Kimball Brown

"Ma Vie en Rose Law Firm"
-- Patrick Wright
Gaithersburg, MD

"Devil With the Blue Dress On"
-- John Nelson, CT

"The Red States Are Next"
-- Walt Young
Melbourne, FL

Letter to the Editor

topics:
Health Care, Law, NATO