We want to lead a live of danger, though not if that means
sounding like Charlie Rangel. The fickle Rep. and former PFC from
NYC once would have favored ending the draft to stop a war. A
generation later he wants to reinstate the draft to end the next
war. Only goes to show you don’t need to travel to Baghdad to
clinch a McDermott-Bonior prize. But it also shows that the
political thought of Sidney Blumenthal and Abbie Hoffman remains at
the heart of Democratic conniving.
Happy Days are here again in more ways than anyone can count.
Building on their success last November 5, Democratic congressional
leaders Gephardt and Daschle are all set to run for president.
Oddsmakers in Las Vegas reacted to the news by encouraging the two
men to combine forces and run instead for German chancellor.
A more dynamic candidacy is Carolina dandy John Edwards’s, which
got off to a rousing start in his driveway the other day in what
struck most listeners, unless they be hard of hearing, as Edwards’s
coming out as a mute. The young fella had absolutely nothing to say
about why he, of all trial lawyers, is qualified to become
president. Then an ice-cream truck ding-donged down his street and
Edwards had his answer — he’s wants to champion “regular people”
— i.e., “people who don’t have lobbyists.” He’d rather they had
trial lawyers, who as we know never lobby politicians. Why lobby
someone you own? Under an Edwards presidency, regular people will
be able to afford premium.
That’s welcome news in Michigan, where a new governor is fueling
a political revolution. Ms. Jennifer Granholm, American’s finest
Canadian import since Ferguson Jenkins, turned her gubernatorial
inauguration into an anti-Masonic event. As her state’s first
female governess, she called for even more opportunity in U.S.
politics for Canadians, “so that no characteristic like gender or
race or national origin or religion will ever again contain the
secret codes that allow admission.” Got that? Remember, if you have
a serious code, take two aspirin and call us in the morning.
Our sense is that Gov. Granholm will soon enough rediscover the
indispensability of secret codes. She has until March to propose a
new state budget that already faces a $2 billion or so deficit.
Because of secret codes known only to politicians she is certain to
bring balance to her budget by increasing revenues without raising
taxes and committing to new spending while making all the necessary
cuts.
A master of the secret code of California Governor Gray Davis,
who has concluded his state faces an even great deficit than a mere
$20-some billion. At his last estimate it was at $35 billion and
ballooning. Before we’re through it’ll break $100 billion and Davis
will come out claiming he cut it by nearly $80 billion. There’s
still a chance he’ll qualify for a Democratic presidential run
after all. He’ll declare himself heir to Bill Clinton’s commitment
to fiscal discipline, and that’ll shut up Johnny Edwards for
good.
Maybe running for prez would shut up Ms. Susan McDougal as well.
She remains a public bloviator, which is rather odd given how she
clammed up whenever Kenneth Starr asked about her dealings with the
Clintons. Now that she’s no longer residing in O.J. Simpson’s
one-time home she can’t turn her mouth off, revealing in the
process all the things she once said she would not let Clinton
watchers in on. For instance, as the Washington Post
quoted from her upcoming book, Ms. Susan says of Bill Clinton: “I
have never known another human being who needed to be told all the
time how great he is.” To knock down talk of her possible romantic
involvement with the Great Arkansan, she asks: “”Have you seen the
way he looks in a pair of running shorts?” Is that what he had on
when he saw her riding bareback in a Whitewater ad?
But no more horsing around. We’ve got war-stoppers to stop. If
left to their own devices, they’ll draft not only all children of
anyone who had partook of the Bush tax cuts, but their horses as
well, for use in the all new organic army. Charlie Rangel thought
he’d clinched an Enemy of the Week decoration when he took his
draft call to the New York Times. How he underestimated
us. We don’t have much use for publicity hounds. We prefer low-key
individuals who do their back-stabbing behind the scenes. Some one
like Charlie’s partner in treason, Rep. John Conyers, his likely
co-sponsor of legislation to revive conscription. Conyers has thus
been promoted over Rangel as this new year’s first EOW. All because
he’d like our armed forces to rival in size and demeanor North
Korea’s.
