Washington — I am rather proud of having coined the term Black
Cat New Story. I applied it to a journalistic sophism that I
noticed some years ago. It is a tendentious news story that
suddenly crosses the path of a public figure and supposedly hexes
that notable’s career forever. Usually the story has very little
substance or very little that is new, but it supposedly reveals
something gruesome about its target and gets the chattering classes
chattering in ominous tones about his imminent demise. The Black
Cat News Story appears frequently during a figure’s rise to
prominence, preferably at election time if the figure is a
politician. Remember the ominous tales of candidate George W.
Bush’s hell-raising youth or the “October Surprise” stories that
seemed to doom candidate Ronald Reagan until they were revealed as
piffles?
With this week’s reports of John F. Kennedy’s dreadful health
problems we have a new kind of Black Cat News Story. The Black Cat
News Story that hexes a dead man’s future reputation. Typical of
the Black Cat News Story there is not much to it or, as in the case
of the Kennedy health record, not much that is new or pertinent.
According to the reports, “records show that Kennedy variously took
codeine, Demerol and methadone for pain; Ritalin, a stimulant;
meprobamate and librium for anxiety; barbiturates for sleep;
thyroid hormone; and injections of blood derivative, gamma
globulin, presumably to combat infections.” That is how Reuters
reported it.
Now what is new here? Very little, if you have kept up with the
biographical revelations of such writers as Thomas C. Reeves,
author of A Question of Character: A Life of John F.
Kennedy and Richard Reeves, author of President Kennedy:
Profile of Power. Incidentally, for the conspiracy theorists,
throttle that impulse. The authors are neither related nor members
of a cult. Their shared name is just a coincidence. I know that is
shocking, but coincidences happen, just like sun spots.
Not only is there not much new here, but about all the list of
medications reveals is something everyone knows. Kennedy was a rich
celebrity. A generation ago it was not at all unusual for rich
celebrities to be walking test tubes. Before our current
health-food craze America was living through the miracle-drug
craze, and the doctors of the rich and famous were promiscuous in
mediating their famous potions.
Contrary to common belief, about the only Americans that suffer
worse medical treatment than the very poor are the very rich. They
take their problems to the most famous doctors in the republic.
Unfortunately the most famous doctors are usually famous for
breakthrough experiments and revolutionary theories. Almost never
do they have much daily contact with patients. They are rarely
well-rounded practitioners of medicine. Not infrequently they
prescribe the latest and least proven therapies. And one other
thing: they often over-medicate.
JFK had serious health problems, some from his war injuries. A
friend of mine who knew him told me he once while in hospital
showed her a gash in his back that was deep and long. It was either
from his war wounds or a later operation. It was painful to look at
and doubtless more painful to bear. JFK had other serious medical
problems, one of which was overmedication, and many of his later
problems stemmed from that. A good middle-class doctor could have
saved him much pain, but then he would have to settle for
middle-class medication and that was not very fashionable for
people of his set in his day.
Precisely what this Black Cat News Story is supposed to achieve
seems vague. At once readers are supposed to feel powerful
officials around the Kennedys lied to us. Moreover we are now
supposed to clamor for the health records of candidates. I
personally clamored for Bill Clinton’s health records only to be
told by fellow journalists that they had been released in their
entirety. They never were. Finally we are supposed to appraise JFK
with a mixture of awe and fear, awe at his fortitude, fear that he
was in a delicate condition that might have lead to cataclysm.
As I say, there never really is much to these sensational
stories. As for Kennedy I shall remain in awe of only one thing.
How did he manage to be so good looking when he felt like hell? Can
someone lay hands on his cosmetic surgery records?
