Democrats used to say all politics is local. But that was before
their politics became loco. Does anybody in their party even know
what time it is? A couple hundred hours after their last votes were
cast, purchased or stolen, the Daschleheads have decided to
politicize the president’s war on terrorism. It’s going nowhere,
they jeer. Osama is out there, they think. And, they proclaim, we
denounce the president’s threat to our civil liberties in his
conduct of this all-out war that we now insist on. No wonder a
woman named Pelosi is being asked to do the thinking for Democratic
man.
Back when they were of sounder mind the Dems would have trotted
out charges of an October Surprise. How else to explain Osama bin
Laden’s recent comments from the grave, or cave, or Bill Casey’s
bedside? OSL waits until after the election to
announce his comeback? Perhaps Osama has as much trouble as Daschle
Tom in synchronizing his watch with the political calendar. Or …
or… — and here were need the Dems to do the conspiring for us —
Bush emissaries met with Osama’s in Paris last month and cut a
deal: no release of a purported Osama tape until after November
5.
It makes perfect sense, to everyone except a Daschle Democrat.
His strategy, he would insist, is forward looking. By raising new
questions about the effectiveness of Bush’s war leadership, the
goal is to set the stage for a Democratic comeback in the 2024
elections. The thinking is that by then Iraq will have been
invaded, and Al Gore might even be ready to put the 2000 results
behind him. The only major obstacle will be the Democratic Party’s
post-2002 election merger with the Communist Party. It’ll be hard
for Democrats to run on a platform still calling for Warsaw Pact
expansion.
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Need we worry today that
George McGovern might run again in 2024? Our faithful agent Roger
Ross would rather we settle with a Washington press-corps
Lilliputian first. Who is this Helen Thomas, he asks, to liken a
U.S. attack on Saddam with the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor?
Actually, Ms. Thomas has insulted the Japanese. After all, their
goal in Hawaii wasn’t oil, other than coconut oil for the Empress’s
complexion.
Enemy Central’s Jack Hughes, Eliot Ness’s successor in Chicago,
questions the U.S. Catholic bishops’ “Statement on Iraq.” It
explains a lot, especially why Reps. Jim McDermott and David Bonior
are now in charge of the Tehran diocese.
But those two shouldn’t have to stray so far to search for
sinners in need. In a major cry for help, Mr. Bill Moyers, still
under the influence of driving under the influence, broke with
fellow Democrats and Communists to denounce the notion that
President Bush won anything last November 5. His biggest worry,
other than that there may be a God after all, is that the GOP
Manifesto calls for “using the taxing power to transfer wealth from
working people to the rich.” We can see it already, rich dudes
mugging average folk by taking from them everything they don’t
have.
The war on terrorism is starting to get to Russian President
Vladimir Putin. It’s not clear if he’s undergone a religious
conversion, but he this week he started talking Moscow up as a holy
capital of circumcision. Alas, his message was so stern the worry
is he has now joined forces with radical feminist emasculators. As
he said to the Danish reporter he was recommending for a
circumcision, “I suggest that you do such an operation that nothing
grows out of you again.” Well, at least we know there’s one major
European leader Bill Clinton won’t be calling on anytime soon.
Putin, to be sure, continues to struggle with Russia’s
diminished place in the world. The last straw might have been an
obituary that ran in the Santa Barbara News-Press on
October 28. It described the life of a Santa Barbaran who had fled
the Nazi invasion of his native Poland in 1939 only to be “arrested
for crossing into Russia.” Here’s where the insult to Russia’s
historic legacy enters in. In the paper’s words, after his arrest
the late Santa Barbaran “as a prisoner of war was sent to Serbia,”
where he spent “two years in the freezing wasteland.” Next thing
you know, they’ll be calling that loser Milosevic a former Russian
czar.
Closer to home we have our Putins. One of them called up the
vigilant Media Research Center to denounce its characterization of
his work. St. Aaron Brown, still in mourning after CNN’s losses on
November 5, took issue with an MRC suggestion that he might not
have relied on the New York Times in denouncing the effort
to have the Sniper Duo tried in Virginia, where they are more
likely to receive the death penalty. In
what’s been described as an angry phone call, he expressed his
displeasure at how the MRC characterized his report, and demanded
an apology and home page correction. Of course the real outrage was
the substance of his argument, to the effect that use of the death
penalty in Virginia would deprive families of the Snipers’ victims
in anti-death penalty Maryland a true measure of justice. Is Aaron
Brown as loco as Tom Daschle these days? You decide. We’ll just
note he’s our Enemy of the Week.
