Fired after refusing to remove an eyebrow
ring, a former Costco employee is suing the discount chain for
violating her religious freedom. She claims that the ring is an
expression of her spirituality, and the Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission has agreed. Now she’s in federal court
seeking $2 million.
It turns out that the plaintiff belongs to something called the
Church of Body
Modification, based in Portland, Oregon. According to its
website, the church is a “nondenominational congregation that
teaches ownership over our own bodies,” and “whose members practice
an assortment of ancient body modification rites which we believe
are essential to our spirituality.”
A visit to the site suggests that it is a sincere operation, and
not some scam for exploiting the tax advantages granted to
religious groups. Becoming a minister (cost: $50 per year) means
filling out a lengthy application with questions designed to gauge
one’s commitment to the “body modification community.”
An entire section of the application deals with the candidate’s
“knowledge of sterilization.” For a moment I assumed this had to do
with human reproduction, an issue on which many religions take
strong stands. Then I noticed the reference to “cross
contamination,” and realized what sort of sterilization they meant.
(Duh.)
It’s easy to make fun of this, yet from a neutral point of view,
these people have as much right as anyone to call themselves a
church. Certainly the U.S. government has no business judging the
validity of their beliefs. The EEOC was right to rule that an
eyebrow ring can be a religious practice. But does Costco have to
put up with it?
What if I decided tomorrow that I could properly express my
spirituality only by singing old Rolling Stones tunes at the top of
my lungs at certain hours of the day? Could my employer legally
tell me to stop? Given my singing voice, you can be sure he would
want to.
As it happens I work at home, so the only people to hear me
would be my wife and child, neither of whom is terribly concerned
about the First Amendment (particularly since we live outside the
U.S.). I’m sure you get the point, however.
Some years ago — never mind how long precisely — when I was a
freshman in college, a friend and I entertained the idea of
registering with the university chaplain’s office as Satanists.
Neither of us had the slightest inclination toward devil worship;
we just wondered how far we could push the school’s vaunted
tolerance.
After all, we reasoned, the officially recognized Humanist
(i.e., atheist) chaplain enjoyed access to a building that had been
built years before as an exclusively Christian sanctuary. On what
grounds could anyone deny us the right to hold a Black Mass in the
same space? (We wouldn’t have actually done that, just demanded the
right.)
We had enough good taste, even at the age of 18, not to follow
through; and it may be that our university, a private institution
with several sane people in positions of authority, would have told
us to go to Hell (which of course we would have had to take as a
compliment). But those were more innocent times. Nowadays, I’ll
bet, Satanists on campus are as quaint as beanies and coonskin
coats.
Universities can afford to be tolerant; business is another
matter. So what is an employer supposed to do in a situation like
Costco’s? The only solution I can think of is for the company to
declare itself a church, and adopt teachings that expressly forbid
the wearing of eyebrow rings or whatever else the boss wants to
keep his workers from doing. This might seem far-fetched, I know,
but all it takes is faith.
