It dawns on one sometime between one’s mid-Fifties and
mid-Sixties. What dawns is the realization that your priorities
have changed markedly. A milestone birthday is usually the trigger
for reflection and the realization that one’s earlier priorities
had been overcome by new ones. The two sets of priorities were not
like tectonic plates bumping up against one another with friction.
The change is slow and subtle. Some examples:
Noisy restaurants. Step into the trendy new
restaurant in any large city and you will find it packed with
under-35s, has bare oaks floors, loud music, high-decibel talk and
nothing to keep sound from bouncing off walls and ceilings. Young
people like cramped, noisy restaurants and bars because these are
part of the mating ritual (whether for one night or a lifetime).
Conversation is irrelevant. The only reason to go to a quiet,
romantic restaurant would be to propose marriage.
Older people, on the other hand, always prefer quiet restaurants
because they like to dine with mates or long-time friends and
exchange news and views about families, travels, the events of the
day without having to shout.
Traffic. It is so congealed in and around most
cities — even medium-size ones — that if one can avoid commuting
from the suburbs to work downtown one does. One strategy is to live
in the city and walk. I moved to a new office last year, a
mile-and-a-half from home, and now walk to and from work. This
means thinking ahead to allow enough time for a walk that is not at
top speed (which defeats the purpose). Also, no more speeding up
one’s pace to make it through the crosswalk before the signal
changes. Instead, I slow down and enjoy the red light. After all,
it only lasts 70 seconds. There are multiple benefits to walking:
the people parade, shop windows, fresh air, exercise and a bit of
schadenfreude when you see those stalled motorists gnashing their
teeth.
Fewer choices. As one gets older, there is a
strong desire to simplify life’s smaller things. For me, this means
finding vendors and services that, while not perfect, are
consistent and generally good. Thus, I take most flights on the
same airline; use the same rental car company, the same
long-distance carrier, the same bank, the same Internet service
provider. They all seem to improve with age — mine. In a world
filled with computer-driven activities and their plethora of
passwords, reducing as many as possible of life’s quotidian aspects
to simplicity is both important and satisfying.
Taking politics in stride. Important issues are
still worth fighting for, but you no longer fret and fume over the
outrageous statements or behavior of politicians. Politics is their
business and they are as interested as you or I in surviving. They
are forever calculating the effect of this or that legislative
initiative on the opinions of their constituents and shaping their
positions so as not to alienate enough of them to get them kicked
out of office at the next election. Besides, in Washington, one
learns when working on issues that today’s adversary may be
tomorrow’s ally — and vice versa. So, better to find the humor and
irony in the meanderings of Congress than to let one’s blood
pressure rise.
Youth dreads milestone birthdays and makes much of how “awful”
it is to turn, say, 30 or 40. This probably masks an unspoken
realization that the cherished belief of the young — that they
will live forever — is not true. Looking back from the other side,
one has a very different perspective. In fact, it is not hard to
draw the conclusion that each passing decade has been better than
the last.
