Once more, for old time’s sake, Democrats are vindicated in
their politics. A Nixon appointee — who, by definition, is a
criminal Nixon appointee — declares the McCarthyite
phrase “under God” unconstitutional. Immediate outrage ensues.
Democrats lead the way. Don’t blame us, they daschle. We’re the
ones who’ve been blocking Republican judicial appointments. We
always knew we were on the right track. Nothing can change our
minds now. No more godless GOP judges. Ever again.
But will that save us from the new judicial reasoning? The San
Francisco ruling was what’s called “narrow.” But judges hate to be
labeled “narrow” minded. They like to be thought of as robesters
who expand judicial interpretation, and broaden modern
understanding. So what does “under God” really mean? And what other
threats does the phrase pose and how are they to be eradicated?
Sunday morning comes to mind, particularly the Americano
tradition of milling about before and after services in front of a
church, especially beneath its steps, which accentuate the distance
between the faithful on the ground and the steeple and cross high
above. We don’t need an Oliver Wendell Holmes to remind us that a
steeple links us to the heavens and the cross represents God
Himself. But how long will the courts allow Americans to position
themselves “under God” in such a settings? Will they order the
tearing down of church towers? Call in riot police ask the faithful
to disperse? Or will the matter be left to zoning commissions, out
of respect for local self-rule?
In time the move to neutralize man’s unequal standing
vis-à-vis God will go international. The most logical place
to start is in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, where there is simply no
reason why a huge statue of God’s son should be allowed to tower
over and thus intimidate and demean all the people who live below.
Paris is lucky that the Eiffel Tower postdates the Gothic Era. The
Cathedral of Notre-Dame stands in a relatively flat part of the
city, though tourists in the bateaux mouches in the river
below will find it perhaps too towering. Clearly Sacré-Coeur
atop Montmartre is in trouble. Civilization will be remade. Under
man.
Which reminds us of the messes some of our finest public figures
have gotten themselves into. A week ago Congress was again asked to
express support for the democratic state of Israel, which given
that it is surrounded by states that would rather be Neanderthal
than democratic, would seem to be a no-brainer. But that’s where 23
Congress people came in, voting “no” on solidarity with Israel. God
help them, as we once would have been permitted to say. Two of the
twenty-three are Senators. One is Ernest Hollings, about whom the
less said the better, other than that it must be difficult always
to be outshined by Strom Thurmond. But the other is Robert Byrd,
who wants nothing to do with a polity that restricts pork.
Perhaps some remedial education would help this senatorial pair.
Now that’s it’s kosher to do so, Enemy Central will be delighted to
provide vouchers to Hollings and Byrd, valid in any bible school in
their respective states. We’ll see if old dogs can be taught new
tricks. Or if PETA will ask for an injunction.
No tears, please. That’s what fans used to say to Ms. Martina
Navratilova, who turned every tennis match into a weepy
confrontation. Apparently she was the specialist Bill Clinton
turned to for wet-eye tips before attending Ron Brown’s funeral. Of
course, Ms. Navratilova had a lot to be sad about. Forced to defect
to freedom, she missed her family and friends and family pets left
behind in neo-Stalinist Czechoslovakia. Plus she took up residence
in Dallas, where her professional tennis earnings left her richer
than all the Dallas Cowboys combined. But once a lefty, always a
lefty. So in a German magazine — how quickly she forgets 1938 —
she attacks the U.S. and especially the Republican Party as grubby
enemies of tolerance and free speech and replicas of the system she
escaped. In must be rough to be 45 years old with the past as one’s
only future. We hope finding an EOW medal in her trophy case will
leave her feeling a bit more grateful.
